tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post2706664981037502914..comments2024-03-14T03:16:23.482-05:00Comments on Everyone Needs Therapy: The Power of Confusiontherapydochttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-18728124834689553472010-10-11T16:15:14.308-05:002010-10-11T16:15:14.308-05:00Last paragraph would = sarcastic in my family and ...Last paragraph would = sarcastic in my family and would spur a free-for-all... even if we were wearing Versace instead of our sweatpants and bright red shorts with lime-colored tops.Sarah Glennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12455113960686270662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-70918251072517929602010-07-27T18:52:18.927-05:002010-07-27T18:52:18.927-05:00I have zero tolerance for someone complaining abou...I have zero tolerance for someone complaining about how I look, even if they manage to say it tactfully. It's all I can do to muster the effort to look presentable when I feel it's a duty I owe to the social situation. The whole thing makes me tired. I'm much more comfortable with people who just look the way they look and don't worry about it.<br /><br />On the other hand, it's entertaining to see people in movies decked out to the nines, like Grace Kelly, impossibly elegant and beautiful.Texan99https://www.blogger.com/profile/10479561573903660086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-66735481101864180722010-07-14T11:11:45.390-05:002010-07-14T11:11:45.390-05:00And trying the I statements with an alcoholic may ...And trying the I statements with an alcoholic may often result in the "hot potato" of blame being tossed into my lap. I do say things like "I felt hurt by what was said" and will sometime get tossed back at me, "well, your actions provoked me" or "feelings aren't facts", etc. Alcoholics are far harder to deal with than "normal" folks. Much more dodgy and like the disease: cunning, baffling, and powerful.Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-40779748945789038172010-07-07T21:36:35.721-05:002010-07-07T21:36:35.721-05:00Thanks Erin, maybe I will.Thanks Erin, maybe I will.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-73920662395425559152010-07-07T20:27:01.809-05:002010-07-07T20:27:01.809-05:00You could write a good book about your experience ...You could write a good book about your experience as a therapist...ever thought about that?Erin Merrynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05299795583293680035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-29014277349249310692010-07-07T08:27:13.033-05:002010-07-07T08:27:13.033-05:00There are also people who come to therapy facing u...There are also people who come to therapy facing unusual or extraordinary life events. These people enter therapy to get help dealing with problems that can be overwhelming or even devastating. Depending on their goals and the issues they are facing, therapy can last for a long period of time.marriage counseling san diegohttp://www.aacounseling.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-55405389829331657542010-07-04T15:49:51.497-05:002010-07-04T15:49:51.497-05:00what an excellent post! you really wove nicely bet...what an excellent post! you really wove nicely between modeling language, vocabulary *and* pronunciation lessons, and got to the heart of up-keeping being a solid person as well as the relationship.<br /><br />i really took to heart the connection you made between how we react to criticism as adults and the way we felt when shamed as children. as a mom of 3 little ones, this was an excellent, albeit gentle, reminder.<br /><br />found you through haveil havelim-- so glad that i did! :)Minnesota Mamalehhttp://tcjewfolk.com/category/minnesota-mamaleh/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-24496991606139650392010-07-03T12:59:23.586-05:002010-07-03T12:59:23.586-05:00"I-messages" are far less useful when de..."I-messages" are far less useful when dealing with abusive personalities, unfortunately.<br /><br />With an abusive person - alone or in throngs - what you get when you provide an I-message is, predictably, more abuse.<br /><br />Giving a nondefensive, nonaggressive I-message and receiving an abusive, defensive, or otherwise invalidating response is disappointing, but it can be very helpful information.<br /><br />My own experience has taught me that most adults, if decent, tend to behave decently most of the time, without the need for reminders or major interventions. <br /><br />Adults who consistently behave in hurtful ways, on the other hand... and aren't suffering from TBI, undiagnosed/untreated major illness, massive unsupported life stress, or serious cognitive/processing deficits... <br /><br />These people are telling you something important about themselves; the most productive (silent) response to them may be Shakespeare's, in As You Like It: <br /><br />"I do desire we may be better strangers."<br /><br />Some people just are not very nice. What is nice, though, is that it's not our job to fix them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-33046727247772503142010-07-01T01:35:17.424-05:002010-07-01T01:35:17.424-05:00you are welcome- love your blog... and one of thos...you are welcome- love your blog... and one of those really nice people you are talking about!! ha ha interesting post!Eat.Pray.Dance.Coat.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17399178469280252992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-35578290394610969812010-06-30T10:05:44.788-05:002010-06-30T10:05:44.788-05:00I bet a lot of people can relate to the critical i...I bet a lot of people can relate to the critical in-law scenerio. And yes, assertive wins over aggressive, or at least it's the safer bet. If you start out aggressive it's hard to back up from that.blogbehavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08965257446041012824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-63099010044582703342010-06-29T22:32:01.225-05:002010-06-29T22:32:01.225-05:00Thank you, Therapydoc.Thank you, Therapydoc.abroadermarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09850564776073543921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-4208992295716873092010-06-29T18:17:07.086-05:002010-06-29T18:17:07.086-05:00Okay, I’ll try to summarize what I learned from wh...Okay, I’ll try to summarize what I learned from what everyone’s said. <br /><br />a) Learning from negative experiences isn’t nearly as fun as learning from positive experiences . But whatchagonnado?<br /><br />b) The best learning is probably not by personal experience, if it’s a negative experience. Better to learn from listening to other people’s stories. Probably why we have mouths that make words.<br /><br />c) For sure, I try to teach stuff in each post. <br /><br />d) Not criticizing is a heckofa lot harder than it should be.<br /><br />e) But for some of us, opening our mouths to assert feels virtually impossible, so any squeak will do, in my opinion, even if it’s a little negative. At some point, who cares?<br /><br />f) Yiddish is good. All of us should speak this. We could express a lot more anger and nobody would know.<br /><br />g) In short, therapists shouldn’t have personal relationships with clients/patients until the professional relationship has ended for a full two years. There are a couple of posts on the blog already, <br /><br /><a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/2008/08/therapeutic-boundaries.html" rel="nofollow">like this</a> <br /><br />or <br /><br /><a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/2009/06/professional-boundaries.html" rel="nofollow">this</a> <br /><br />h) And basically, the song Walking on Sunshine does just make me happy. Thanks all.<br /><br />i) and I'm not depressed :)therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-20904753886448194852010-06-29T17:27:21.893-05:002010-06-29T17:27:21.893-05:00Great post. If I wasn't hungry from the fast, ...Great post. If I wasn't hungry from the fast, I'd say something more intelligent than, "I love how you spelled zhilub."The Rebbetzin's Husbandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14977193945074906534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-50331790276350748252010-06-29T14:34:12.908-05:002010-06-29T14:34:12.908-05:00Remember your 'Walking on Sunshine" post?...Remember your 'Walking on Sunshine" post? Hope you are listening to happy songs.Take care.tuesday@11noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-90206206048511579752010-06-29T12:02:17.314-05:002010-06-29T12:02:17.314-05:00This is an interesting dialogue and I could see ho...This is an interesting dialogue and I could see how it could work and possibly build bridges in the relationship. I also see how it could serve to simply suppress what the insulting person is thinking and not change their thought process. The other alternative would be for the "nice" lady to learn to understand that when people say hurtful things it is usually about them and not about her. I think it is important to understand and appreciate where other people are in their journey and to understand that the hurtful things they may say are on them and not on her. Send love and be who you desire to be would be the way that I would choose to go. If the dialogue does not work there is not much of an option.Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08237538988856751173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-51054856053246935052010-06-29T10:14:34.692-05:002010-06-29T10:14:34.692-05:00Hi TD, remember your post "Walking on Sunshi...Hi TD, remember your post "Walking on Sunshine"? Hope you are listening to happy songs. Take care.tuesday@11noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-30194439619816331242010-06-29T00:38:59.248-05:002010-06-29T00:38:59.248-05:00Okay, let's talk about the ethical considerati...Okay, let's talk about the ethical considerations involved in the case of a therapist becoming friends with a <em>former</em> client. Then let's talk about what should happen if a therapist and his/her existing client (who is just about ready to leave therapy) have a relationship that seems to be moving beyond a professional/therapeutic one (or has the potential to, anyway) to one of friendship. Would it be okay (ethically speaking) for a therapist to have that sort of relationship? If not, please explain to me why. <br /><br />And <em>then</em> let's talk about the "Rules" that govern such things as therapist/previous client friendship. Are they really so cut and dried, so black and white, as to not take into consideration the particulars of the individual situation?<br /><br />So, Therapydoc, those are (some of) the things I want to know about. Will you write me my very own post in reply? :Dabroadermarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09850564776073543921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-48152862579588750702010-06-28T22:30:14.274-05:002010-06-28T22:30:14.274-05:00Ask away. I'm too not depressed to write anot...Ask away. I'm too not depressed to write another post (for now).therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-36541177533884832552010-06-28T22:15:17.496-05:002010-06-28T22:15:17.496-05:00Therapydoc, if I have a question that has nothing ...Therapydoc, if I have a question that has nothing to do with this post (but <em>does</em> have to do with therapy) could I ask it here? And would you consider answering it? You never know - it might end up providing you with a topic for your next post. ;)abroadermarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09850564776073543921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-79695020202706974532010-06-28T20:25:08.254-05:002010-06-28T20:25:08.254-05:00Excellent post. Psychology has always fascinated m...Excellent post. Psychology has always fascinated me. Glad I found my way over here!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-52004946198539754892010-06-27T17:40:40.221-05:002010-06-27T17:40:40.221-05:00Hi, TherapyDoc -
I love how you take something so...Hi, TherapyDoc -<br /><br />I love how you take something so serious, so heavy, and put the perfect amount of humor in it so that it becomes palatable.<br /><br />Well done!<br /><br />- Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-43816739159663532452010-06-25T19:57:30.265-05:002010-06-25T19:57:30.265-05:00Enactments are the stuff great therapy is made of....Enactments are the stuff great therapy is made of. The downside is how it scrapes and bruises us.Dr. Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06340730498047128203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-27898269671793195132010-06-23T15:44:14.708-05:002010-06-23T15:44:14.708-05:00Therapydoc-been away from blogging for a while but...Therapydoc-been away from blogging for a while but glad to come back to such an interesting post. I am glad it was not confusing. 30 years of being a therapist to now be on disability with bipolar leaves me missing the clients but welcoming the peace of mind. I can be that therapist again while I read your posts. Thanks. AnnieAnniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05311860307335702834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-14031334112462863442010-06-22T11:04:58.400-05:002010-06-22T11:04:58.400-05:00Wow! Just put this blog to work with someone in my...Wow! Just put this blog to work with someone in my life and it worked beautifully!I had a choice, continue to be resentful towards this person or find a positive way to address the issue. It feels good not to be filled with resentment! Thanks TD!tuesday@11noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-71533032925132772732010-06-22T09:21:51.392-05:002010-06-22T09:21:51.392-05:00Confrontation is the hardest thing for me. I'd...Confrontation is the hardest thing for me. I'd rather people think I was a horrible person than talk to them about their misgivings.<br /><br />Your ability to take fiction and make it seem so plausible and USABLE is wonderful. It's why I love reading this blog. Thank you!Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06044336707596369037noreply@blogger.com