tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post5103243211272894649..comments2024-03-14T03:16:23.482-05:00Comments on Everyone Needs Therapy: Ingrid Michaelson Versus Steve Harveytherapydochttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-38215183012757409082009-02-16T18:42:00.000-06:002009-02-16T18:42:00.000-06:00therpydoc-Yes, thanks, I see how the DSM comes int...therpydoc-<BR/>Yes, thanks, I see how the DSM comes into play there.<BR/>My "other" background is in special education, where labels are more often shunned because they hold back the progress that could be made.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03381554731510359760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-87310528127128039322009-02-14T09:56:00.000-06:002009-02-14T09:56:00.000-06:00Thank you for the lovely post. I really appreciat...Thank you for the lovely post. I really appreciate your passion for teaching your students to love research and not blindly trust authority. I think that is my favorite thing about research.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-75127518031237088922009-02-12T21:55:00.000-06:002009-02-12T21:55:00.000-06:00Loved the post. To me, it's attractive when a girl...Loved the post. To me, it's attractive when a girl is comfortable with herself. I'd love to take her as she is. I understand the looks thing, and think it goes both ways. Either side enjoys it when the other tries to look their best. But all the time, every time? It's not necessary. I love a girl who hasn't done anything to change her appearance. I love smart women too. Gotta have intelligence to make fun of this crap =)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-86664648941344372012009-02-12T18:42:00.000-06:002009-02-12T18:42:00.000-06:00This is not just a "guy thang." For every man who...This is not just a "guy thang." For every man who thinks and acts like Steve Harvey (or Sinatra) there is a woman who is nagging her hubby because he doesn't make enough money, or he doesn't "buy her things". How do you think folks like "The Donald" manage to snag not one, not two, but MULTIPLE young beautiful women. Because he is willing to pay for "it" -- "it" being whatever Sinatra is describing in Wives and Lovers (the appearance of an intimate relationship? arm candy?) <BR/><BR/>Isn't this what you have blogged about before under the topic of intimacy? ... when men (and women) define their relationships in utilitarian terms then that's what they get from the relationship. <BR/><BR/>As for credentials... I hate to be the one to remind you but... this is an anonymous blog. In the blogsphere, there are no creds, just public opinion. Kinda like Steve Harvey ('cept that he gets paid the big bucks...cuz people are willing to pay him for his so-called expert advice.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-8997061367916715892009-02-12T10:48:00.000-06:002009-02-12T10:48:00.000-06:00On read-over, maybe I sound a bit harsh? What I r...On read-over, maybe I sound a bit harsh? What I really mean is, I was brought up to believe that as women, we could expect a lot of ourselves - we could (and should) strive to be many things simultaneously. And that likewise, we can expect, and even demand, a multi-dimensional form of man to serve as our other half. And that expecting sophisticated thoughts and corresponding actions out of anyone is the highest form of compliment, so men like Steve Harvey are doing themselves a disservice by "branding" each other in this way. Pretty much what Kristin said in fewer words :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-4762134228094372612009-02-12T10:29:00.000-06:002009-02-12T10:29:00.000-06:00I did put you out there, didn't I.Thanks both Marg...I did put you out there, didn't I.<BR/><BR/>Thanks both Margos, something good about this name. Margo 1, I am SO glad someone picked up on the Oprah thing. That really is the point of this post, one of the big ones, that not only should you not believe what you read, but in this media-driven world, you have to doubt what you see, too.<BR/><BR/>Back to the kid who dresses me, and I'm wearing that pink sweater as we speak, it's funny, isn't it, that I couldn't get past that first episode of Mad Men, couldn't watch people smoke like that, mainly. <BR/><BR/>I should have assumed that the guy would fall for an independently minded woman in the end.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-6123858581740400382009-02-12T10:10:00.000-06:002009-02-12T10:10:00.000-06:00Maybe it comes as no surprise, having been raised ...Maybe it comes as no surprise, having been raised by you, but I am completely with Kristin here. Can't we sum it up with <I>Steve Harvey is talking about a lesser-evolved, baser form of male</I>? And maybe that applied to himself - hey, he's the one who shamelessly put those opinions out there. <BR>As swoon-worthy as Sinatra may have been, as much as I adore Jon Hamm in Mad Men, and for all that I'd like to believe times have changed considerably (and both genders improved for it) --- I don't really buy that the other (forgive me, BETTER) kind of guy didn't exist back then either. Sinatra probably got away with thinking that way because of his looks and success, and there will always be women who lack enough Self to buy into whatever crap someone "bright and shiny" spews. Maybe that kind of simplistic approach was all he needed to feel fulfilled in a relationship - simple guy, simple thoughts. Maybe he didn't even believe it, but the simple guys in his audience were the ones who paid for records. <BR>Regardless, when I come across men who talk like that in 2009 - and actually, I do more often than I'd like - I want to pet their heads and say, <I>Aw, you poor, sweet, basic creature. You probably shouldn't open your mouth in public anymore, k?. Have a beer.</I><BR><BR/>(By the way, Mad Men's lead character is always drawn to more independent, rougher-around-the-edges women than his own red-lipsticked doll of a wife. Ok, he's incredibly flawed, but at least he spends the show trying to figure it all out and improve himself, evolution ultimately being the show's message.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-29668953283751250912009-02-12T07:48:00.000-06:002009-02-12T07:48:00.000-06:00So much I could say here, so many things to think ...So much I could say here, so many things to think about.. great post! I'm amazed at how many reasonable and well educated women I know who would jump in front of a bus if Oprah told them too. One in particular clings to The Secret, or whatever. So willing to give away her power to O because it's easier and more acceptable than getting your butt into therapy or reading a book that isn't by Suzanne Somers (I do the edit things to death too on my blogs)Margohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15813140073356995390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-69399434492105972012009-02-11T22:44:00.000-06:002009-02-11T22:44:00.000-06:00Thanks so much for stopping by my blog today. As ...Thanks so much for stopping by my blog today. As always, this is a great post and Take Me the Way I Am is just the way I think it should be.<BR/><BR/>By the way, that song should no longer be stuck in your head because you.gave.it.to.me. :^)blognuthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01161713516407124717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-82566597070441693082009-02-11T18:07:00.000-06:002009-02-11T18:07:00.000-06:00I think that most people who fall in love and get ...I think that most people who fall in love and get into relationships take one another the way they are, then they use change as an excuse to break up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-55955158468503917142009-02-11T12:48:00.000-06:002009-02-11T12:48:00.000-06:00Right! Even better sometimes.Right! Even better sometimes.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-69669127844013678362009-02-11T12:37:00.000-06:002009-02-11T12:37:00.000-06:00Ah, you forgot another way of knowing - intuition....Ah, you forgot another way of knowing - intuition. Much much different from common sense, yet very common, indeed.<BR/><BR/>Nice post.Tzipporahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08807511259582331073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-77918943268988526702009-02-11T11:51:00.000-06:002009-02-11T11:51:00.000-06:00I have, and she is. Ingrid is now a blogger, you ...I have, and she is. Ingrid is now a blogger, you know. We should make her feel at home in the blogosphere. I might have linked to it in the post.<BR/><BR/>And BARFLY, Yes of course that's how it goes. But there are times one stretches to make another person happy, even if it isn't just right, or doesn't feel, just right at the time. Assuming there's nothing unethical or demeaning or counter-esteeming, I mean.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-83535278988924944542009-02-11T11:49:00.000-06:002009-02-11T11:49:00.000-06:00Have you seen her website? She's hysterical.Have you seen her website? She's hysterical.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-56171856583165084682009-02-11T11:48:00.000-06:002009-02-11T11:48:00.000-06:00I think that Ingrid can stay just the way she is, ...I think that Ingrid can stay just the way she is, and if she wants to change, she can do that, too, and he has to take her the way she changes.<BR/><BR/>Would you agree?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-86486606183871627682009-02-10T15:01:00.000-06:002009-02-10T15:01:00.000-06:00KRISTIN, thank you. You took the words right out ...KRISTIN, thank you. You took the words right out of my mouth. It's totally insulting to them. It makes you just want to scream, "MEN!"therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-56203996864197100772009-02-10T14:52:00.000-06:002009-02-10T14:52:00.000-06:00Thank G-d for cancellations. WENDY so lucky to hav...Thank G-d for cancellations. <BR/>WENDY so lucky to have watched that marriage, much better than anything you could ever read about or watch on Teev.<BR/><BR/>MARK, always honored when you stop by.<BR/><BR/>And ANNA, that was a wonderful movie, and I love the song!<BR/><BR/>And about the DSM IV. It matters to me because it helps me conceptualize treatment. <BR/><BR/>Treatment is always custom-made for and with the patient, but some diagnoses really command one certain approach over another.<BR/><BR/>For example, if someone is suffering from one of the depressive disorders and wants to end it all, then not trying a psychotropic medication can be malpractice. We wouldn't insist without a true diagnosis of the illness, and technically, couldn't.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-91022449595450163522009-02-10T14:51:00.000-06:002009-02-10T14:51:00.000-06:00Well said, as always.What bothers me about Frank/S...Well said, as always.<BR/><BR/>What bothers me about Frank/Steve here (besides the obvious) is that it insults MEN too. "Men will always be men," says Frank Sinatra. So Frank and Steve believe that men will always be shallow, drawn only to shiny objects, unappreciative of their spouses, unfaithful? That's just how they are and we should accept that?? That's their estimation of men's character?<BR/><BR/>Sorry, Frank and Steve. Not only do women deserve better...but so do men. Apparently I think more highly of your gender than you do. (Or at least, I feel it's reasonable to expect decent ethical behavior from both.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-51439503315027667792009-02-10T13:09:00.000-06:002009-02-10T13:09:00.000-06:00Lots to say today!"We have Nature, Nova, the Weath...Lots to say today!<BR/>"We have Nature, Nova, the Weather Channel,the History Channel, Turner Movie Classics (just seeing if you're paying attention) -- shows that drip with validity."<BR/><BR/>Just this Sunday, one person was suggesting that Moses' time was during Ramses II, based on a History Channel episode.<BR/>Another, far more reasearched individual (okay, authority- Family practice doctor with a Master's in religion) disagreed. Fortunately, we do this disagreement thing pretty well in my circles.<BR/><BR/>Dr. Laura-<BR/>"...although it's unlikely she could explain the difference to you between a Cronbach alpha and a t-test, and her command of the DSM IV might be a little light. But that could be a good thing, we have so many pejorative labels floating about as it is."<BR/><BR/>Okay, you've got me at the Cronbach alpha, but I know about t-tests.<BR/>Anyway. Does a diagnosis per DSM-IV really matter? How important is it in your own practice to put labels on your patients in order to help them?<BR/>Just a curious question, not an attack.<BR/><BR/>Last thing- another good one is Adam Sandler, in "The Wedding Singer." (It escapes me, at the moment, if a movie is italicized or underlined.)<BR/><BR/>I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad<BR/>Carry you around when your arthritis is bad<BR/>All I wanna do is grow old with you<BR/><BR/>Ill get your medicine when your tummy aches<BR/>Build you a fire if the furnace breaks<BR/>Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you<BR/><BR/>Ill miss you<BR/>Ill kiss you<BR/>Give you my coat when you are cold<BR/><BR/>Ill need you<BR/>Ill feed you<BR/>Even let ya hold the remote control<BR/><BR/>So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink<BR/>Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink<BR/>I could be the man who grows old with you<BR/>I wanna grow old with you<BR/><BR/>*****<BR/>Good enough for me. :)Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03381554731510359760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-31634148328198292622009-02-10T12:26:00.000-06:002009-02-10T12:26:00.000-06:00Steve Harvey did push a button! Ha. Of course you ...Steve Harvey did push a button! Ha. Of course you are correct, there is middle ground in all of this. To Francis Albert Sinarta's point, we do need to continue to try for each other and not fall into total complacency and to Ingrid's point, accept me for who I am, for at the end of the day it is who I will be. <BR/>Yes, the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Thanks for a interesting and entertaining post.Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08237538988856751173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-45297653443846595482009-02-10T10:36:00.000-06:002009-02-10T10:36:00.000-06:00Ok, I'm not sure what I'm voting for (kind of like...Ok, I'm not sure what I'm voting for (kind of like the regular election) but I know what I would like to see... <BR/>I remember my grandparents - old, stodgy, grey hair, wrinkles, functional shoes, and loved the daylights out of each other. I remember when my grandmother died 18 years after my grandfather, my mother said "Finally they are together again and the love goes on". <BR/>They married at 15 and 16, they had 11 children, they worked their tails off, they loved each other to the ends of the earth... Maybe grandma brushed her hair up a little after 12 hours on her feet being a waitress before starting dinner and before grandpa got home; and grandpa climbed out of his painters overalls before coming in the house - but they always kissed hello - said something nice and well, just loved each other. <BR/>And OMG could they dance!!! We grandkids were embarassed to the roots of our hair, but we cheered them on. Theirs was one of the greatest love stories and I was so fortunate to experience it... Neither Steve Harvey or Ingrid know what they are talking about - I didn't have to do any research, I experienced it from the experts -a little old couple from Russia who counted every day together as a blessing.<BR/>That's what I vote for - that's what I'm looking for... <BR/>The day Oprah, or Dr. Phil or anyother TV expert has someone on like grandpa and grandma - I might listen to them!<BR/>WendyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-68473773677830282862009-02-10T08:56:00.000-06:002009-02-10T08:56:00.000-06:00Yes, last I looked it sourced old research, but st...Yes, last I looked it sourced old research, but still. And you have to pay for some of it, of course. Better to check data bases at a college of some sort, get it all for free. Or use someone else's log-in, if they'll let you.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-81697101785423810732009-02-10T08:46:00.000-06:002009-02-10T08:46:00.000-06:00Groan. I hate that song. The Wives and Lovers o...<I>Groan.</I> I hate that song. The Wives and Lovers one. <BR/><BR/>And my husband takes me as I am.<BR/><BR/>(There's a Google Scholar?)Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12785796365378274088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-55392957432040229482009-02-10T08:36:00.000-06:002009-02-10T08:36:00.000-06:00Oh, no! I might have changed it since you read th...Oh, no! I might have changed it since you read the first draft on the web (so insecure, I edit, re-edit, and edit again).therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-69376925424868210282009-02-10T08:15:00.000-06:002009-02-10T08:15:00.000-06:00Of course, I'm going to take the middle road on th...Of course, I'm going to take the middle road on this; it's a little of both. But great job explaining Kal vaChomer!The Rebbetzin's Husbandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14977193945074906534noreply@blogger.com