tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post6136692674277640118..comments2024-03-14T03:16:23.482-05:00Comments on Everyone Needs Therapy: On Those Seven Things No One Tells You About Marriagetherapydochttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-90306591079119704032010-08-23T20:41:18.382-05:002010-08-23T20:41:18.382-05:00Call me zany but I don't care if the toilet se...Call me zany but I don't care if the toilet seat is up or down, I just want everyone to clean up after themselves...just sayin.'psychotherapistinthesouthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13781018243949659548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-87431850989158513022010-05-18T16:25:03.413-05:002010-05-18T16:25:03.413-05:00I like your blog, because I think the important th...I like your blog, because I think the important thing to remember is that there is no easy way out, no magic numbered checklist to avoid life's tossings and turnings. Checking all the boxes and dotting all the I's will not make a marriage work. Hard work is what makes a marriage work, and there's no getting around it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14266127396351211649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-24626913547849811652010-02-04T16:03:58.711-06:002010-02-04T16:03:58.711-06:00Great!Great!therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-65104168025675176142010-02-03T20:56:38.419-06:002010-02-03T20:56:38.419-06:00sounds like you already have your book title "...sounds like you already have your book title "Issues are without number" -- love it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-28530397080040140372009-09-22T22:09:26.005-05:002009-09-22T22:09:26.005-05:00Re: the toilet seat
think of it as mindfulness tr...Re: the toilet seat<br /><br />think of it as mindfulness training ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-36181356962472572232009-04-17T19:45:00.000-05:002009-04-17T19:45:00.000-05:00I absolutely checked out the whole family before I...I absolutely checked out the whole family before I married into it - my parents fought constantly and I still question if we love each other.<br />But the love is very clear in my husband's family, and it's there for me too. Yay!Ellanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-44340713871735052072009-01-19T22:53:00.000-06:002009-01-19T22:53:00.000-06:00I'm thinking...our men should want to be our hero....I'm thinking...our men should want to be our hero...by protecting our assets.<BR/><BR/>After all, so few opportunities exist for such chivalry, now that we're no longer living in caves.Isle Dancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04755103029114698264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-68796421984689372542009-01-19T22:17:00.000-06:002009-01-19T22:17:00.000-06:00Jack, I have to validate you here on the falling t...Jack, I have to validate you here on the falling toilet seat. This never occurred to me. <BR/><BR/>I'm thinking, that like true problem solvers, we should consider an alternative solution to the all or none ideas. i.e., Mon, Tues, Wed, and Thurs., seat down. <BR/><BR/>Fri, Sat, Sun., seat up.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-62446624985545971802009-01-11T13:02:00.000-06:002009-01-11T13:02:00.000-06:00Thanks, all.Jack, listen up. This discussion, som...Thanks, all.<BR/><BR/>Jack, listen up. This discussion, some might call it an argument, is of tremendous import and affects the entire species. So we have to continue it.<BR/><BR/>But since it isn't at the top of my list right now, or yours either, like any good argument let's table it for a little while. <BR/><BR/>This way we model good conflict resolution. Be assured, dear. You're gonna' lose :)<BR/><BR/>I know, it's my move. I have to think about it.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-80243097992365966262009-01-10T19:45:00.000-06:002009-01-10T19:45:00.000-06:00This is a great post. Recently I learned of a fri...This is a great post. <BR/><BR/>Recently I learned of a friend's niece getting married at the age of 18. Geez, I didn't think people did this still. I mean there should be a law - you can't get married until you're at least 30. We no longer live until the age of 35 so that means you could potentially be with the same person for over 50 years. Personally, I think that's why there is so much more divorce. <BR/><BR/>As a postdoc in the biological sciences, I wish someone had written The Five Tips No One Tells You About Your Relationship With Your Supervisor. The problem is that even if they had, I would have believed that mine would be different. <BR/><BR/>Go figure how us humans can be so dumb.unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05949487275042211766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-16819718094321345692009-01-09T14:53:00.000-06:002009-01-09T14:53:00.000-06:00Hee hee, you have me laughing. Men have risks too....Hee hee, you have me laughing. Men have risks too. Without being overly graphic, we sometimes need to sit as well.<BR/><BR/>Not to mention the need to be aware of the falling toilet seat.Jack Steinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16625864271071630940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-88902009888361218072009-01-09T13:18:00.000-06:002009-01-09T13:18:00.000-06:00I think I've already experienced the realization o...I think I've already experienced the realization of every one of the things on that list, and yes, it's hard. But worth it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-87546166377771176052009-01-09T04:57:00.000-06:002009-01-09T04:57:00.000-06:00You and I have to sit down and discuss this. A ma...You and I have to sit down and discuss this. <BR/><BR/>A man risks NOTHING lid up, lid down. A woman risks all. It's about risk. I can't believe we're having this argument which is as old as man. See?therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-40762125342613120582009-01-09T00:32:00.000-06:002009-01-09T00:32:00.000-06:00I won't back down on this one. (Everyone groan).Th...<I>I won't back down on this one. (Everyone groan).</I><BR/><BR/>That is good. That way we'll be confident you can see if the lid is up or down. ;)Jack Steinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16625864271071630940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-70938903602683206072009-01-08T16:47:00.000-06:002009-01-08T16:47:00.000-06:00Interesting. Of course there is always danger in w...Interesting. Of course there is always danger in writing a list because as we know there is always more that could be added or some that could be modified.<BR/>The key is that people must go into a marriage with eyes wide open and manage expectations. Looking at the environment that our prospective mate grew up in is an excellent indicator of possible behavior and at a minimum is a great way to start conversations which will be meaningful in predicting future behavior and managing our expectations of each others behavior.Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08237538988856751173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-85300259976891082332009-01-07T06:34:00.000-06:002009-01-07T06:34:00.000-06:00I won't back down on this one. (Everyone groan).Ab...I won't back down on this one. (Everyone groan).<BR/><BR/>About facebook. I just started Twittering. Isn't that bad enough? <BR/><BR/>Now I should Facebook? Uh, uh. Once I tried this with my real name and my patients wanted to friend me. How could I say no? But then I realized what I was getting into. I'm finished with that one, pretty sure, put up an alien account for family so I could visit them when they made me.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-74563556779456111892009-01-07T01:57:00.000-06:002009-01-07T01:57:00.000-06:00Nope, not attention. Just fighting for equality.Bu...Nope, not attention. Just fighting for equality.<BR/><BR/>But this could make a good Facebook group.Jack Steinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16625864271071630940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-68927273165669565662009-01-06T10:05:00.000-06:002009-01-06T10:05:00.000-06:00What we won't do for attention, right Jack?What we won't do for attention, right Jack?therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-18107767462760422062009-01-06T09:32:00.000-06:002009-01-06T09:32:00.000-06:00The metaphor just doesn't work. This is nothing li...<I>The metaphor just doesn't work. This is nothing like crossing the street.</I><BR/><BR/>TD,<BR/><BR/>You just don't want the metaphor to work. I could change it to anything that requires that we look at what we are doing. But just for kicks let's play with this one for a half second.<BR/><BR/>Let's say that we leave both the seat and the cover down. Certainly you notice that the cover is down. You are going to have to lift it up to make use of the facilities.<BR/><BR/>I suppose that one could argue that if you stumble into the bathroom in the dead of night you don't have to worry about falling in when the cover is down.<BR/><BR/>Still, the safest and smartest way to use the toilet is to make sure that you look before you leap.<BR/><BR/>Did I ever mention that I grew up with four sisters and a mother. It was my dad and I against the world.<BR/><BR/>Ok, it is possible that I might have tried to aggravate my sisters with this once or twice, but I'll never say.Jack Steinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16625864271071630940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-22559708882480958732009-01-05T07:29:00.000-06:002009-01-05T07:29:00.000-06:00It's only useful if you want to talk about vulnera...It's only useful if you want to talk about vulnerabilities. It's not a nice generalization, but I'm not the first to suggest that many men are more apt to go with their head (a good thing) than their hearts, probably because they have been encouraged to succeed and not to appear weak (we females like them strong). But to get a guy to talk about what is going to make him angry, for example, can be very difficult, and yet, it's a very important thing to talk about. Much more to say on this and I'm about to do that coming up soon.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-75055111161281496612009-01-05T05:26:00.000-06:002009-01-05T05:26:00.000-06:00..."These are the conversations that turn men into...<B><I>..."These are the conversations that turn men into women."</I></B><BR/>Why in the hell would you want to do THAT?!Cashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07095852355663076802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-53445731278839884042009-01-04T11:36:00.000-06:002009-01-04T11:36:00.000-06:00Hmm.... "Issues without Numbers." Sounds pretty ca...Hmm.... "Issues without Numbers." Sounds pretty catchy. Personally, if a guy went ahead and just admitted that there WOULD be really really bad arguments, I'd be much more apt to marry him. In my experience it's the guys who sugar coat things that you need to watch out for. Are there really couples that DON'T have bad arguments? If that's true then maybe I'm the arguer! Well crap lol ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-30574812272530473962009-01-03T23:03:00.000-06:002009-01-03T23:03:00.000-06:00I figured, if he loved me -- really and truly -- t...I figured, if he loved me -- really and truly -- this stuff wouldn't happen.<BR/><BR/><BR/>If I had a dime for everytime I hear that!!! Good article! I think that its difficult parting with our fanatasies and agreeing to make and keep a pretty good reality. <BR/><BR/>Can't wait for that book TherapyDoc, no matter what number is on the cover.Melissa Groman, LCSWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15341980298878431177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-86759494340900969272009-01-03T17:44:00.000-06:002009-01-03T17:44:00.000-06:00Right o, everyone. And Jack, is this our first fig...Right o, everyone. <BR/><BR/>And Jack, is this our first fight? I'm holding back my feelings here, but they're not good, sort of verging on call to arms.<BR/><BR/>The metaphor just doesn't work. This is nothing like crossing the street.<BR/><BR/>But you should know. To your credit. When I was in Champaign, many years ago, which is a very busy place, my friends would literally throw their arms out to stop me from walking into the street without looking both ways.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-69285560965357076712009-01-03T07:13:00.000-06:002009-01-03T07:13:00.000-06:00Eek! People get married without knowing most of th...Eek! People get married without knowing most of this stuff already? The thought of that makes me quite nervous!Cate Subrosahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11371172824707301749noreply@blogger.com