tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post8359250589049973077..comments2024-03-14T03:16:23.482-05:00Comments on Everyone Needs Therapy: Lust and Love: Part Onetherapydochttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-18596729839397094362010-02-03T20:28:11.750-06:002010-02-03T20:28:11.750-06:00Gotta' be referring to Dangerous Distractions,...Gotta' be referring to Dangerous Distractions, a later post.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-35575541160419109242010-02-03T19:04:48.187-06:002010-02-03T19:04:48.187-06:00Not a text-er. Yet. But I do make the occasional ...Not a text-er. Yet. But I do make the occasional call, and searching for a number in my address book is the equivalent of texting. I <em>usually</em> wait for a red light to do the looking up. But that isn't always an option so I take the risk. <br /><br />Your thought will help me resist that urge.blogbehavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08965257446041012824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-11865551469820080072010-01-08T14:44:59.291-06:002010-01-08T14:44:59.291-06:00I'll try to get to it, thanks. It's hard ...I'll try to get to it, thanks. It's hard to find time for anything lately.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-45139253058194539692010-01-08T14:37:27.229-06:002010-01-08T14:37:27.229-06:00TD, someone mentioned way up there about the PBS s...TD, someone mentioned way up there about the PBS series "This Emotional Life"<br /><br />Are you watching? You can go back and watch online. Fascinating stuff and methinks right up your blog posting alley.Tanyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16310224569736431703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-78540010487514800002010-01-08T04:08:49.299-06:002010-01-08T04:08:49.299-06:00I love this topic.
Playfulness conquers just abou...I love this topic.<br /><br />Playfulness conquers just about anything uncomfy.<br /><br />And is there a more precious gift than being loved and expressing daily, that intimate love with another?<br /><br />I think not.<br /><br />Life is too short to miss out on any of this.<br /><br />I am so guilty of encouraging lots of intimacy...Isle Dancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04755103029114698264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-15834235920879243172010-01-06T22:07:50.632-06:002010-01-06T22:07:50.632-06:00oh, therapydoc, two marital therapists over four a...oh, therapydoc, two marital therapists over four and a half years of counseling (still ongoing). it's like a drug-resistant infection.<br /><br />we have a great counselor now -- for over two years. my husband thinks it is enough to go there every other week. in between there is no change, or as far as i can tell, no motivation to change.<br /><br />i've reached that point too. i don't feel that i should have to beg for intimacy, and four and a half years on top of the several years before that of crap.<br /><br />i read the comments here, and i feel so sad that this has not been my experience of marriage. always downs, never ups.lynettehttp://lynetteb.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-87588891925902115802010-01-06T21:10:27.073-06:002010-01-06T21:10:27.073-06:00I write about sex, I get spammed.
Syd, I’ll get...I write about sex, I get spammed. <br /> <br />Syd, I’ll get to Part 2, thanks.<br /> <br />TechnoBabe Love that HIS arm line.<br /><br />Blognut, that’s awesome<br /><br />Mark, always happy to hear from you!<br /><br />Lynette, there are always good reasons when the sexual intimacy isn’t there. Sounds like a great marital therapy case. (They all are).<br /><br />Lou, it’s so true. But that what you don’t use you lose thing . . . we hear about people in their 80’s, so . <br />. .<br />ANON, great point, so much is semantics.<br /><br />Beth, could be the cold weather, don’ know.<br /><br />Porcini, such a cool way to put it, how the five intimacies run in streaks.<br /><br />Shattered, thanks. So much consensus, seems I have to!<br /><br />Thanks ANON!<br /><br />April, great point.<br /><br />Ella, that is the best memory, that first one.therapydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088184676439578876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-77910709498274140252010-01-06T20:48:20.220-06:002010-01-06T20:48:20.220-06:00Pina Colada song, good grief that was a while ago!...Pina Colada song, good grief that was a while ago!<br />Being able to remember that lusty feeling from the start of the relationship - the "clothes ripping" feeling you have for the object of your affection - has been a great gift for me. I'm glad someone told me that this memory would be what I'd need in my marriage to keep things going in the tough times. My parents have always fought - I never saw them loving each other. So, a family friend who had a loving relationship with her husband shared that wisdom with me when I was just out of college.<br />thanks TDEllanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-14677703499510632202010-01-06T15:58:10.691-06:002010-01-06T15:58:10.691-06:00Without trust, it seems to me, none of the intimac...Without trust, it seems to me, none of the intimacies happen. And that's a shame. Great post.April_optimisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04264149241673287909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-10036331029558275002010-01-06T13:49:14.964-06:002010-01-06T13:49:14.964-06:00I have been with my hubby for 11 years now and I h...I have been with my hubby for 11 years now and I have to say that sex and even lust have peaks and valleys. But as a woman, there are no other times when I feel as emotionally intimate with him as when we have sexual intimacy with each with wild abandon. There is something about lusting and longing for your partner and having sex to fulfill that longing that brings people together. However, I have to say that this is only true when BOTH partners are involved. (i have to admit there have been times when I've had a million other things on my mind other than the sex at hand...dishes in the sink, work, bills, etc).<br /><br />Anyway, great post. I agree. Lusting after your partner can be a beautiful and bonding thing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-5813694713062599162010-01-06T13:04:07.924-06:002010-01-06T13:04:07.924-06:00Very interesting. I'm going to have to read i...Very interesting. I'm going to have to read it more than once though because I'm completely backwards and dumb when it comes to sex and any sort of intimacy. I hope you will continue with part 2 when you are ready.Shatteredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03522971021773946033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-66738539127336373082010-01-05T22:36:57.170-06:002010-01-05T22:36:57.170-06:00Seems to me that you are spot on - as usual! Lust...Seems to me that you are spot on - as usual! Lust CAN go hand in hand with love - it cannot be the ONLY function (see the five), but it should be at least a part of the function of love some of the time - as you mention, at least some of the time, someplace, at ideally at the SAME time on occasion. <br /><br />I know that for me, each of the five ebb and flow. Every so often, I get to enjoy more than one in the same sitting - emotional intimacy AND sexual intimacy. Work intimacy AND problem solving. But, oh...my...when I get more than two together? Just the thought of it makes me shudder. Doesn't happen so often that it is routine, but often enough to keep me very close to home. We each have our faults, but I am grateful for a loving (and LUSTFUL) relationship at the end of the day. <br /><br />Thanks for posting - it made me think of all the reasons why I love my man and yep, lust is part of it. :)porcini66https://www.blogger.com/profile/00547909036887434734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-1253544118625407692010-01-05T21:07:15.918-06:002010-01-05T21:07:15.918-06:00Now I'm confused. I thought I got it the first...Now I'm confused. I thought I got it the first time I read it, but then I came back and read everyone else's comments, and then re-read the post, and I don't know if I got it at all.blognuthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01161713516407124717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-74607655056212048302010-01-05T18:10:40.130-06:002010-01-05T18:10:40.130-06:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-31211489298701107142010-01-05T17:22:32.169-06:002010-01-05T17:22:32.169-06:00Great post, and yes, please write Part 2! I've...Great post, and yes, please write Part 2! I've been married 30 years and think it's vital that both lust and love are acknowledged and explored as part of what makes intimacy work or not. (We seem to be on similar wavelengths today - I've been writing about sex too, and left plenty on the cutting room floor!)Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15829062955658284450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-75612301811604208712010-01-05T16:57:08.157-06:002010-01-05T16:57:08.157-06:00i think people are confusing lust and desire all t...i think people are confusing lust and desire all the time- you desire your husband/wife and want to make him/her very happy--you lust after a job, a person, a car. etc to unhealthy ends. Sexual desire is good-the other is not!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-16053789716492269942010-01-05T15:59:38.430-06:002010-01-05T15:59:38.430-06:00lou, from my perspective, lust is not all about se...lou, from my perspective, lust is not all about sex. what i lust for is intimacy -- love and kindness and affection and caring. <br /><br />i think it depends on how one defines lust... and whether it applies only to the physical. i think therapydoc's post implied that it doesn't, since it is specific to that one person, and so that is love, no?lynettehttp://lynetteb.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-76823122799919577572010-01-05T15:30:33.352-06:002010-01-05T15:30:33.352-06:00My friends and I who have been married for over 30...My friends and I who have been married for over 30 years (the ones who didn't get divorced anyway) all seem to refer to their spouse now as their "best friend." It's like we are saying lust isin't that important anymore. We want someone we can count on to push us around in a wheelchair if it comes to that!<br /><br />Seriously, in intimacy vs lust, I think most long for intimacy. Good post!Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09496172669599418214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-47647179960510510252010-01-05T13:39:41.565-06:002010-01-05T13:39:41.565-06:00i loved this post... so i am guessing that the fa...i loved this post... so i am guessing that the fact that my husband and i have not been sexually intimate in ten years (and at this point, i know i don't wanna) is as big a problem as i think and feel it is?<br /><br />interesting the bit about instructions... after our second child, i tried to talk to him multiple times about how i could use some help switching gears and getting in the mood. he became really angry that i was criticizing the "way he does things". i replied that i thought i was proposing solutions to get to a win-win.<br /><br />never happened. toss a little physical abuse on there, and lust dies.<br /><br />i care about him, but i never want him to touch me again.<br /><br />but i sure would like to feel and act on lust and love during this one life i am living...lynettehttp://lynetteb.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-51770096395402155492010-01-05T11:33:48.840-06:002010-01-05T11:33:48.840-06:00This is a very important topic which addresses a w...This is a very important topic which addresses a wide spread problem. As much as I hate to say it, intimacy and sex are often viewed and felt differently by the genders. Thanks for writing this! Happy New Year!Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08237538988856751173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-82576694575382508022010-01-05T11:11:10.219-06:002010-01-05T11:11:10.219-06:00I have found, with the right conversations taking ...I have found, with the right conversations taking place throughout the day, whether on the phone, in person, or via text messaging, that everything my husband says/does is a turn-on. I suppose this is lust, but I never really thought of it that way. <br /><br />Either way, I like it.blognuthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01161713516407124717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-85033117274922697492010-01-05T11:05:09.709-06:002010-01-05T11:05:09.709-06:00At first I felt like there was so much going on th...At first I felt like there was so much going on this post, just too much for me to comment on. But as I read it a couple more times I felt the flow of the writing that lead me from the sorta embarrassed stage to the "oh, I get it" stage. And I do get it that as you clearly explain the process, lust is a function of love. When I look deep inside my heart of hearts, I know that when hubby touches my arm it can be arousing. It is because it is HIS touch. Very good post and open minded as well.CiCihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08615265608675467505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-87377859498862154402010-01-05T09:05:45.181-06:002010-01-05T09:05:45.181-06:00I watched a show on PBS last night called Emotiona...I watched a show on PBS last night called Emotional Life. I especially thought that the couple who had marital problems, largely related to lack of trust from the husband's infidelity, were interesting. Their problems with communication were huge. <br /><br />Anyway, great post. I'm interested to read part two.Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-86157989755495917012010-01-04T23:01:20.739-06:002010-01-04T23:01:20.739-06:00This comment has been removed by the author.osc.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15956866741623580647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27072566.post-32480015643318826062010-01-04T22:51:49.556-06:002010-01-04T22:51:49.556-06:00This comment has been removed by the author.osc.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15956866741623580647noreply@blogger.com