An Ugly America

Eddie Redmayne-Caberet, not pretty

As anyone who knows me knows, I've been a little out of it when it comes to what is happening in the United States. When I left in August to become an Israeli citizen (not giving up my American citizenship!) things did not feel great in the great in the USA. My country felt a little ill, frankly. Abuse and exploitation everywhere.  Name it, humans abused it, exploited it. Children even. Violence, so much.

When I was a child we played outside until dark. When I raised my children neighbors relied upon neighbors to keep an eye out. I left a country where kidnapping is a serious concern as are snipers, terrorists.

When I left in August, 2024, just five months ago, I had quit my news addiction. The news pinged my brain, not in a good way. I felt too reactive to the negativity, to the sadness and pain. Violence had become a cultural norm, endemic. Mass murder. How? Why? 

When I left America the country lacked the unity, the pride, the hope, the love of decades past. Despite the successes of civil rights activists, human rights activism, lip-service to equal rights, democratic egalitarianism felt dead to me, the rich richer, the poor, well, the Bible says there will always be poor people and poverty is more than a comparison we make with others who are better off, if only in a monetary sense. Making more meaning is nothing to sniff at. 

As a child of the 50's being an American, well, one couldn't do any better. A child couldn't have been born to a more hopeful, prosperous, positive culture. Take my fifth grade class, for example. We had a subject called patriotism. It was a subject. Learn the word. Love of country. We hated the Russians! We feared the Russians! We had nuclear drills that required hiding under our desks! 

America, my G-d, did we sing that song. Heartfelt. America. G-d shed her grace on thee.

O beautiful for spacious skies,

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain!

America! America! God shed Her grace on thee,

And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea!

Crazy times. But good. Positive. Upbeat. Strong. Communal. Loving. 

Eddie Redmayne-Caberet, not pretty

More than you need to know, but FD is starting work as a doctor in Israel and I have a day with no classes. I took some time to catch up on the news in the US, only news that doesn't depress the hell out of me, and Peggy Noonan's old articles. Most felt dated, but one in particular rang true, depressing or not. And I had to talk about it to someone for I've been feeling it for years. 

Peggy Noonan

Ms Noonan, also an idealist like myself, probably not much younger or older than me, nails it by telling us that art glorifies all that is ugly, sad, dark, painful, grimy, gloomy, grim, lonely.  'The uglification of everything' it is called and it is very American today. No one is kind, people are vengeful, emotionally incapable and dumb. Nobody laughs anymore. She sees it in the movies. 

Just last night I scrolled through Netflix searching for something light, sweet (but not too sweet) and couldn't find anything. I settled on Ted Danson, A Man on the Inside which really is way, way too sweet but when a person is starving and all there is in the house is ice cream, well, what can one do? 

Ted Danson, so charming if too sweet, Man on the Inside

This is not what Ms Noonan is seeing in America. 

It is not what we see in Israel, just saying, but at least we get a little closer over here. 

Maybe America will change with Trump's presidency, but his denial of sexual harassment as a problem makes me doubt it.  

Not like there isn't any of that here in Israel, but the attitude in general is not ugly, it is not depressed. Israel is a strong nation hopeful for an era of peace, an end to exploitation of citizens living under strong armed dictators.

Here the songs are positive, wistful, speak to a better life, allude to there being more to life than. . . this. That particular message is a natural response to the deaths of 800 young men lost in the current war, Swords of Iron. 

Other songs, however, are related to unity and love, to the hope of our children, to art and creativity, anything that lifts the serotonin. I know because the first thing I did after hanging my hat in the new country, was put it back on and find a choir and in choir the new songs are in addition to the old songs, as if folk is a tradition, history is current. Song in Israel is  more popular than ever, it is a fusion of prayer and pop culture, speaks to love, to being in good company, to singing and creation that lifts the heart, the soul. The United States is diverse, sure, but in Israel the neighborhoods are diverse and yet everyone speaks the same language, aspires to the same humanitarian goals.  

I pray that the culture in the US turns itself around. We therapists have always worked with the ugly, the depressed, the pained and the lonely. A living, sure, but also a calling. 

We couldn't do this work if we didn't believe that happy is better. 

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