Monday, June 19, 2006

Co-dependent, never say no, and he needs me

I used to try to find songs that represented co-dependency. My favorite was from the musical, Oliver. Remember this one?

As long as he needs me
I know where I must be
I'll hold on steadfastly
As long as heeee neeeeeds meeeeee.

As long as life is long
I'll love him right or wrong
And somehow I'll be strong
As long as heeeeee neeeeds meeee.

When you are lonely, then you must know
If someone needs you,
you love them soooooooo

I won't betray his trust.
Though people say I must
I've got to stay through JUST
As Long As HEEEEEEE NEEEEDS MEEEEE!\




Okay, people. If you've been reading me thus far you probably get that this sort of thinking gets me thinking. It's not so good. Living life because someone needs you isn't a life. You actually have one that is far greater than care-taking someone else's, although it is noble to help others. You're worth something even though someone needs you. Identity is threaded with one's job, values, position in your family, community, all that others associate with when they think of-- you. You are a separate entity. You are not all about your dependent.

Or are you?

Emotions and happiness are very much attached to a significant other.

I'll post more on this in the next few weeks.

Gotta' run, T.D.


Copyright Therapy Doc, 2006

1 comment:

Air Purifier said...

I hate feeling co-dependent...but oftentimes in a relationship I do. Which is why upon ending my relationship with my last boyfriend (dysfunctional times 10- the boyfriend and the relationship), I decided I need to be single and focus on myself. I've been doing ok with that, but now I've found someone I really like and I'm trying to figure out how to stay independent but still open myself up to being with someone. It's a fine line for me, and I can't figure out if I'm just crazy or normal? I tend to lean mor