Monday, October 01, 2007

Stealing from the Closet


It was a little chilly in California, no surprise. It's always a little hotter or colder than I think it's going to be. But every time I pack, Empath Daught will tell me, Pack light. You can wear my clothes. Which I do.

We were going to spend some time outdoors so I said, "Honey, I could use a little jacket, or a sweater."

She got involved with the kids and I was thinking I'd have to hunt something down on my own, when she turned up with this white jacket. It's a little heavier than it looks.

She said, It looks great on you, Mom. See how it hits your shoulder? That's how it's supposed to fit. It's a little big on me. Keep it.

I felt a little funny about that.

"I took a jacket from you on my last visit, too. The jean jacket. You'll run out of jackets. And it's crazy. YOU should be stealing from MY closet, not the other way around."

Don't be silly, she said.

"But I feel bad about it."

Don't. I'll be happy knowing that when you put it on, you're thinking of me.

Which of course, got me in that place that everyone likes to be got. Does every time I think of it.

And I got to thinking that when they're little, it's about you creating them. You make them. First of all you put half of your DNA into them if they're biological. If they're adopted, you go through endless paper work, time and expense, interviews and "proofs" that you deserve to be a parent.

Then you spend the next 18 years dabbing finishing touches to personality, aptitudes, and spend thousands upon thousands of dollars for schools, medical expenses, food and shelter, and watch as they develop into selves.

And finally, you blink, and they're creating you. They're doing it with the help of their sisters and brothers-in-law, if you're zocheh, meaning merit it (Hebrew), and if you can handle it. I'm suggesting here that you do that, when it's your turn, that you handle it.

Some things, or should we say transitions, are surely are worth the trip.

therapydoc

12 comments:

doctor a said...

Lovely post. Sounds like you walked your talk with your kids over the years, and now you're reaping the benefits. Congratulations

therapydoc said...

Or maybe someone needs room in the closet?

Midwife with a Knife said...

It seems like people, in general, get the relationship with their kids that they've earned. I think you've really earned this. :)

Lapa said...

Very, very, nice blog of yours.

Margo said...

Mom, it's also a lot CLEANER than it looks! What's with the dingy pic?

therapydoc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
therapydoc said...

It's whiter than it looks, you're right. Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

http://blog.beliefnet.com/idolchatter/

rbach said...

A very sweet moment - inspiring for a parent with little ones still ;-). Thanks for sharing.

Donetta said...

The mirror is turned beauty exposed. I love the reflection. Nice post.

April said...

Funny you should mention this...

My daughter just moved to the city I'm in to go to graduate school. I'm seeing the city through her eyes now and seeing possibilities I didn't see before. I'm seeing myself through her eyes which seem to assume I can handle anything. It's a very nice experience.

Thanks for posting.

Marj aka Thriver said...

What a sweet post--really enjoyed it. Glad to see you participating in carnivals. I'm going to get The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse back up and running and look forward to your participation.