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Thursday, October 30, 2008

September (so I'm late) and October back a' cha

I almost forgot. Here it is, Halloween, and I haven't thanked anyone in months for linking to me. I'm going to be in trouble for sure for forgetting or missing some of you, so please forgive me in advance.

It's like making a wedding. You're always afraid you're going to insult someone you forgot or decided to leave off the list.

There's an old therapy intervention for anger, if it applies.

The idea is that you can't just go off on people. It's nobody's right to rant and scream, insult others. This is called verbal violence. It's frowned upon in therapy, even when someone deserves it, as is plotting revenge. Anger gets us into trouble.

People who drink or use drugs to cope tend to drink more when they get angry, which tends to make things worse, jack up anger even more. So the 12-Step program recommends that they keep a lid on it, anger, even in sobriety, which is hard since it can become a defining emotion.

So how do you keep a lid on it?

(a) We first look at our own piece of a problem, however tiny that might be, and work on that, own it and change it.

(b) Then we go ahead and forgive the other person. Right off. No questions. Do not pass go, assume that individual has his or her reasons for upsetting others, isn't being intentionally malicious. And even if the other person is malicious, he or she must be malicious for some reason, maybe a good reason.* Oy vey.

There's much more to anger management, for sure, but this can really work for your every day narcissistic injuries. So if you think you should have been included below. . . (smiley emoticon here)

I personally use cookies as peace offerings.

Okay, in no particular order, let's start with Amanda at This crazy miracle called "life," because face it, she's got the right perspective. Dear, don't change.

The latest mental health professional to read Everyone Needs Therapy is already getting beat up on the job. Welcome to the family X-Addicted.

Check out Raising a Healthy Family. It might come in handy.

The Secret Shadows is promoting awareness about Dissociative Identity Disorder, always a good thing. Very sneaky disorder, DID.

A Barbaric Yawp is seeing things, people in cow suits. You need two people, I'm telling you, for a cow suit.

That's Enough is weighing in on shoulds, as everyone probably should, shouldn't we?

Amy's writing Whatever I Feel Like, which, as you know, is what we get to do before we get married.

Blinds blogs at Keeping the Blinds Open, awesome pic.

A Sideways Look at Social Care: The Social Work Blog is worth at least a sideways look if not a full-size look.

The Amazing Adventure is much better than the not so amazing adventure, and the people in the pic seem to love one another, so check it out, too.

Joylene talks stress therapy over at Therapy. Someone has to do it. And a real therapist, Melissa, is working hard.

Bookwormmom is an amazing blogger, who really reads real books. Thanks for the link, BWM.

WWright is on a campaign to make poverty history. You have your work cut out for you. You rock.

Simple.ology linked here thinking blogging therapeutic. Thanks, Bean.

Evergreen Help Line can tell you a few things about positive thinking and the subconscious.

The Second Road is great for people in recovery or people dealing with people who have addictions.

Heather's become a cat lady and worries it may get out of hand, but managing, it seems, and having an Amazing Adventure. SYD at I'm Just Fine and I go way back in the blogosphere. Thanks for being there, Syd. And MamaMPJ will give you an earful at A Room of Mama's Own

Frumhouse and Mother In Israel , In the Pink, Juggling Frogs, Nad-Nad, New York's Funniest Rabbi, Coffee Yogurt, Cranky Fitness, and Feminist Gal always make me happy, brighten my day, and The Rebbetzin's Husband teaches me a thing or two.

Great comments and links from Leora, Jack, Wendy, Mark, Porcini66 , Anti-Social Social Worker, Barbara K. SeaSpray, White Trash Academic, Not Faint-hearted, All Rileyed-Up, Dr. Deb, Author Mom with Dogs, Shosh, In the Nuthouse, Looking to the Horizon, April, Rambling Woods (such photos), Jendeis, Auntie Om, Pinky RN, The Fringe, IlanaDavita, Dream Lover, Miriam L, LCSW Mom, RZ, barfly, Karen, Greeny, NashBabe, Lin Rob, Rosey Sunset, Margo, and all of you anonymouses out there, you know who you are.

Thanks everyone.

therapydoc


*None of this, by the way, works for me when it comes to victims of violence, especially sexual violence. Things get much more complicated when you get hurt like that.

10 comments:

Leora said...

Thanks for the link. I'm going to have to check out your fans, especially "coffee yogurt."

Here you are trying to teach bloggers about therapy. Yesterday, I was teaching my psychiatrist about blogging (she had never been on a blog, had no idea how to get to one...).

Mark said...

Thanks for the thank-you and the link!

therapydoc said...

She'll find new respect for you. Tell her it's a religion.

Wendy said...

Thanks for the addition on your "Thank you" post and the link.
We will get out the word about suicide one way or another - hopefully folks will click on my name and see what I mean. I was at a funeral yesterday with the burial at Arlington National Cemetery - another Marine lost to the "war after the war" - suicide, PTSD, depression, brain injury. In the department of defense we talk about the "Boots on the Ground", but we should be talking about the "Boots under the ground now".
Love ya Therapy Doc!!
Wendy

Wendy said...

Thanks for the addition on your "Thank you" post and the link.
We will get out the word about suicide one way or another - hopefully folks will click on my name and see what I mean. I was at a funeral yesterday with the burial at Arlington National Cemetery - another Marine lost to the "war after the war" - suicide, PTSD, depression, brain injury. In the department of defense we talk about the "Boots on the Ground", but we should be talking about the "Boots under the ground now".
Love ya Therapy Doc!!
Wendy

Jack said...

Thanks.

Isle Dance said...

I love clicking all these amazing links.

Your note at the end, about how none of this works for you when it comes to victims of violence, really helps to hear.

Thanks so much for sharing all of this.

ilanadavita said...

Thanks for the link; I am a regular visitor even if I don't always comment.

Simeon said...

Thanks for the link. We're definitely best viewed from the side!

Barbara K. said...

Thanks to you therapy doc - you're a terrific writer and great blogger pal.