(1) With Feeling
For this reason alone, and there are many others, parents have to think: There's no hurrying psychological development.
The tests of our children are really our own.
|Montfort Castle in Israel|
It all depends upon the person getting the therapy. But over the years there is more depth to a relationship, and confidence that what we do share will be absorbed for the good. Otherwise why say anything at all? It is not a friendship, not by any stretch of the imagination, but both the therapeutic relationship and friendship are defined by mutual trust emotional safety.
Still, whereas the patient can never say too much, for what he says is all relevant and diagnostic data, we can.
“Going on vacation, are you?”
”Well, yes, actually. Kind of far away, too. A small middle-eastern country.”
Don't call me. I expect we worked hard enough on your independence in the past few weeks. You can do this.Text:
Let's talk about this, how you really feel, and how it will go in my absence.
|The Western Wall, or "kotel"|
People are okay, at least it seems within my practice, if a therapist is off to a conference or a presentation. But no such thing now, and a fib felt bad. I liked the idea of promoting tourism, maybe. “Everyone should visit Israel at least once in a lifetime. It is an amazing country, nowhere in the world quite like it.”
"And for the first time I'm a little scared."Israel felt scary to me, from Chicago. Despite the peace treaty, the country is always at war, and although the war is now more about rocks and fears of suicide bombers in pizza shops, the missiles were glaring. In fact, those launches Hamas supposedly had stopped did start up, if only once, during my tour, although Hamas apologized. A mistake.
|Shraga's. The gourmet food is on every corner.|
He didn't bat an eye, is the truth. Maybe didn't hear, worried mostly about his own troubles. More likely, too surprised to respond.
Predictably, when I got back, there was rarely even a reference to my glorious vacation. Maybe a single question, "How was your trip?" to be polite.
The redirect, when that happens, takes seconds.
|Austrian Airlines, not cheap on beverages.|
(Just flying European felt strange, but the new experience, like most new things, awesome, highly recommended. Plus it is really cheap).
Knowing sleep rules jet lag, I sip at the Chivas, hope it will shut me down. But it doesn't. Even in a dark cabin wearing eye-shades, and a decent yogi posture going, my head is stuck on the fact that this is what they call a vacation. That and it is only 8 PM, Chicago time. And I’m a little high, the scotch has nothing to do with it. I’m on vacation.
It is the Jewish New Year season, and we think the whole world is judged this month. So it is kind of scary and people who aren't remotely religious come out of the closet and go to the synagogue, or merely hope their thoughts and prayer will be heard wherever they might be.
Anyway, my rabbi told over this story the week before to get us in the mood. He thinks it is true but isn't sure if the king is really the king of Morocco.
Not hard, right?
May there be no more hate, selfishness, or illness in our world (and we in the northern climes could use better weather this winter). May we include one another, when we obsess about what we should have said, should have done, should do, for happiness and health, success, and good will, and work towards that.
A happy new year to all of you, friends.
|This is a lichi. I had never seen one before visiting Israel. We eat new fruits on this holiday. My Israeli brother-in-law is always eating new fruits.|
|Brussels airport synogogue|
|Brussels airport mosque|
|Brussels airport humanist consultant|
|Brussels airport chapel|
|A beach in Natanya.|