Jewish Identity--It's Going to Hurt
On May 22, 2007, Judy Perez wrote a story for the Chicago Tribune about young Jewish parents choosing to forgo the commandment of circumcising their sons.
By Jewish law their child is supposed to have his ceremonial circumcision performed on his 8th day of life, a procedure demanding the precision of a certified moehl, a Jew who has been trained according to Jewish law. Many less than religious Jews ask their physicians to circumcise the child at the hospital.
Moslems are also accept this rite.
My understanding is that if a Jewish boy is not circumcised according to tradition he is still a Jew, but hasn't fulfilled the commandment of having had a brit milah, meaning he has not accepted the covenant.
A boy who hasn't had a brit hasn't been properly initiated as a Jew. He's not really of the Jewish People. He's not entered the covenant as commanded by the Old Mighty (my zaideh's particular reference to the Higher Power running our programs here on Earth).
Why would this bother a blogger like me?
It's an identity issue. Did you know that there is a diagnosis , 313.82 Identity Problem, that includes group loyalty as an identity issue? I see it more often in practice as it applies to career choice, friendship patterns, and sometimes sexual orientation. Should I still be practicing another 10 years, something tells me this is going to pop up.
Parents make the decision to forgo what they hear is a painful surgical procedure. Yet not every child cries, and those who do cry stop crying almost immediately thereafter, and no one I've ever, ever talked to remembers this pain.
And, of course, these parents are making a huge assumption that the child will never, ever want to have the same sense of Jewish identity that his cousins, or perhaps even older brother has. They're assuming the child would prefer to identify with men who are technically not Jewish, not that this is bad, but it's not an ethnically cultural identity. This happens even when the father is Jewish. Very strange indeed.
And I thought cultural identity, ethnic diversity was supposed to be a good thing!
I can tell you as a therapy doc that when a person begins to search for roots, when a person begins to ask the questions, Who Am I? Who Am I Really? certain things will come to light, things like, Well, you weren't circumcised, so you're technically missing something very important if you think, actually that you're a Jew. Uh, sorry, sweetie.
Of course the Nazi's would have had no problem with that. To them an uncircumcised Jew would be a Jew, obviously. They didn't look. They wouldn't have care if your seventh cousin once removed was a Jew. They'd have killed you anyway.
So what happens when a Jewish child learns that his parents spared him the pain of circumcision (a pre-verbal memory, by the way, unlikely to be integrated in the cerebral cortex, virtually impossible to recall, and Yes I know you're going to counter that with the question, But what about body memories? So, No, I don't have an answer to that except to say that I personally don't remember having had a diaper change. Yet I'm quite sure that I did wear them for a time as a child).
I'll tell you what happens when a child who has never been circumcised decides that he would like to become a Jew, one initiated into the Jewish People as his fathers before him.
He has to have a real brit milah, a bris, a ritual circumcision, this time with the scalpel, the rabbi, the whole works, and at whatever age, perhaps he's 13, perhaps he's 30,
IT'S GONNA' HURT A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN IF HE'D HAD It AT 8 DAYS OLD.
AND HE'S GONNA' BE ANGRY, MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT.
And to the Chicago filmmaker Eli Ungar-Sargon, who is promoting this insanity about forgoing the cut, skipping circumcision, with his documentary, Cut, all I can say is,
You really should know better, Mr. Ungar-Sargon. You should take it back, the whole thing. Tell everyone you didn't mean it. You're sorry. You have a lot on your head telling people to forgo this particular precept of Judaism. Take it back, please. Just take it back.
Such givah (rhymes with guy-duh, means conceit) such shtus (rhymes with moose, means stupidity) seriously, to think you have the right to take away a person's identity like that.
therapydoc
By Jewish law their child is supposed to have his ceremonial circumcision performed on his 8th day of life, a procedure demanding the precision of a certified moehl, a Jew who has been trained according to Jewish law. Many less than religious Jews ask their physicians to circumcise the child at the hospital.
Moslems are also accept this rite.
My understanding is that if a Jewish boy is not circumcised according to tradition he is still a Jew, but hasn't fulfilled the commandment of having had a brit milah, meaning he has not accepted the covenant.
A boy who hasn't had a brit hasn't been properly initiated as a Jew. He's not really of the Jewish People. He's not entered the covenant as commanded by the Old Mighty (my zaideh's particular reference to the Higher Power running our programs here on Earth).
Why would this bother a blogger like me?
It's an identity issue. Did you know that there is a diagnosis , 313.82 Identity Problem, that includes group loyalty as an identity issue? I see it more often in practice as it applies to career choice, friendship patterns, and sometimes sexual orientation. Should I still be practicing another 10 years, something tells me this is going to pop up.
Parents make the decision to forgo what they hear is a painful surgical procedure. Yet not every child cries, and those who do cry stop crying almost immediately thereafter, and no one I've ever, ever talked to remembers this pain.
And, of course, these parents are making a huge assumption that the child will never, ever want to have the same sense of Jewish identity that his cousins, or perhaps even older brother has. They're assuming the child would prefer to identify with men who are technically not Jewish, not that this is bad, but it's not an ethnically cultural identity. This happens even when the father is Jewish. Very strange indeed.
And I thought cultural identity, ethnic diversity was supposed to be a good thing!
I can tell you as a therapy doc that when a person begins to search for roots, when a person begins to ask the questions, Who Am I? Who Am I Really? certain things will come to light, things like, Well, you weren't circumcised, so you're technically missing something very important if you think, actually that you're a Jew. Uh, sorry, sweetie.
Of course the Nazi's would have had no problem with that. To them an uncircumcised Jew would be a Jew, obviously. They didn't look. They wouldn't have care if your seventh cousin once removed was a Jew. They'd have killed you anyway.
So what happens when a Jewish child learns that his parents spared him the pain of circumcision (a pre-verbal memory, by the way, unlikely to be integrated in the cerebral cortex, virtually impossible to recall, and Yes I know you're going to counter that with the question, But what about body memories? So, No, I don't have an answer to that except to say that I personally don't remember having had a diaper change. Yet I'm quite sure that I did wear them for a time as a child).
I'll tell you what happens when a child who has never been circumcised decides that he would like to become a Jew, one initiated into the Jewish People as his fathers before him.
He has to have a real brit milah, a bris, a ritual circumcision, this time with the scalpel, the rabbi, the whole works, and at whatever age, perhaps he's 13, perhaps he's 30,
IT'S GONNA' HURT A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN IF HE'D HAD It AT 8 DAYS OLD.
AND HE'S GONNA' BE ANGRY, MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT.
And to the Chicago filmmaker Eli Ungar-Sargon, who is promoting this insanity about forgoing the cut, skipping circumcision, with his documentary, Cut, all I can say is,
You really should know better, Mr. Ungar-Sargon. You should take it back, the whole thing. Tell everyone you didn't mean it. You're sorry. You have a lot on your head telling people to forgo this particular precept of Judaism. Take it back, please. Just take it back.
Such givah (rhymes with guy-duh, means conceit) such shtus (rhymes with moose, means stupidity) seriously, to think you have the right to take away a person's identity like that.
therapydoc
Comments
From a Torah perspective, that should be obvious. I may chime in more later on this.
From a psychological perspective, ditto on your hypothesis of identity issues. Plus, this part of the current fad of the infantilization of men: body waxing, androgenous dress, and "reclaiming ones foreskin." The uncircumcised penis has the form of a child's, the circumcized one, that of an adult's prepared for procreative activity. The foreskin is responsible for keeping that aspect hidden.
It's fine to disagree. We live in America.
I feel for you Danny. I get very nervous with people who generalize and see only extremes, and although I personally think female genital mutilation is wrong, I would be hesitant to get involved with that issue precisely because I can see alot of people making comparisons to circumcision.
Same deal with laws meant to restrict public displays of religion which are ostensibly enacted to prevent radical muslims from amassing. I see that being generalized to Jewish articles of faith like yarmulkes and head scarves (as we saw in France).
That said, and the health benefits of circumcision aside, I very much agree with you and can see how it could introduce unnecessary pain or confusion. However, I do wonder if, being raised into a family that does not much value it, that 99/100 times they would internalize that disregard anyway (not that that's necessarily a good thing beyond indentification reasons).
I'm pretty sure that anyone who in their heart wishes to convert to Judaism can do that, but it's not at all an easy process. Plus, different groups within the religion have different hoops, and don't recognize one another's conversion, necessarily.
Until recently, there was never any question that a male had to have a proper circumcision ceremony. That was one thing that did hold us all together as a people.
That being said, I hated having to circumsize my boys. Out of many, KH, brisim that I have had, I never once stayed in the room for the cutting. I cringe just thinking about it.
However, honestly, the only one who had any lasting trauma was me. My boys don't remember a thing and are no worse for wear. I did know a man who converted. He was already curcumsized, and the moyel basically pricked him to draw blood (no, I did not witness the ceremony, he told me about it! :) ). It wasn't as awful as it would have been had he not been circumsized.
I suppose I can understand if people are mamesh into not doing the procedure, period. What I don't get, is why some relatives I have had to be conviced to wait 8 days to have a moyel do the circumsicion instead of the hospital doctor at birth. If you are going to circumsize anyway, why not throw in a moyel and get a 2fer? Health and hygiene issues taken care of and baby looks like dad (which I assume is why they are doing it) and also they get instant membership to the tribe.
I don't argue with folks who say it is cruel. I figure Hashem knows what he is doing. I can't argue with logic on this one, so I won't try. My reasoning is based on emunah - and I can't project my beliefs onto others. The funny thing is, many of these folks probably have no problem with tattoos or piercings in strange places or cosmetic surgery. Why this? Because it deals with the all-powerful falic? Snip it off, I say! :)
When I think about it, the answer is still a resounding yes because I am a Jew. Also, because of the history, culture and tradition. The memories of attending, oy, so many a bris. I will never forget the pride in my grandparents and aunts and uncles eyes. From everything I’ve read about it, I also appreciate the hygienic benefits of circumcision.
My parents had three kids, two girls and one boy. My brother was circumcised. My dad remarried a shiksa goddess and they had a son together. He is not circumcised. I wanted to ask him if he missed having a peen like our dad, but that's just creepy, isn't it? His mother was vehemently against it. At first I was angry with my dad for not forcing the issue then I realized it’s really none of my business.
Ultimately everyone has to make whatever decision is best for them. But, if you are a Jew, isn’t it worth looking a little bit deeper into the cultural and historical reasons for circumcision and seriously reconsidering?
This is a great post and discussion! Thanks.
A few thoughts...
1. Part of what really bugs me about the Trib article in particular is Sargon suggesting that his inclination to question the practice is through a Jewish notion of question. To be sure there are (important) strains of this idea throughout our history. But in this instance it is an oversimplification. If Sargon is against the practice, far be it for me to play ultimate judge. However, such an idea also ignores that this is the fundamental act of Jewish male jewishness--I might add that it is no surprise that a Humanist congregation would sign onto this practice as they essentially forego ideas of G-d. Thus, really why would one need to make a covenant?
2. I understand the desire to ensure that children are protected and not pained, etc...but what is the lesson that this ultimately teaches? That there is no sacrifice in life? Isn't there value in knowing that there is sacrifice in this life, that being a dedicated Jew takes any number of sacrifices? There is a distinction to be made here; sacrifice does not inherently imply a negative act. Rather giving something up for either a greater good (for all) or perhaps for greater significance for the individual. Isn't that the essence of a covenant? It isn't always going to be easy, but in the end it will be of more meaning and significance.
3. The comparison to the forced mutilation of female genitalia (which beyond being painful, also negates the abilitiy for sexual pleasure) is nothing short of offensive.
4. The filmmaker also ignored the simple fact that we have both a mandate and a responsibilty to remain distinct amongst all other peoples (and I am all in favor of creative, modern and personally meaningful ways to create this distinction). It saddens me to know that one of the few lasting cultural distinguishing marks is being abandoned by some.
Thank you so much for that thoughtful response.
Nothing I've read in a long time depressed me more than that article in the Trib.
FD and I canceled that paper a few years ago, by the way, because of their positions on things Jewish/Israeli. I'm so glad we did. To have paid for that story would have been the ultimate insult.
I cannot imagine being robbed of the opportunity to be a part of the lineage and tradition of Jewish men.
Anyway, this was a good post. Thanks.
Will try to re-write in a bit...
Group Think is very dangerous. (Now I open myself up to everyone thinks group think, and as a Jew, I think group think.)
All I can say to that, is that I trust my source, it's 5000 years old.
We did not circumcise our son because we are NOT Jewish. We could find no reason to circumcise a perfectly normal baby the way God made him - a Christians.
Everyone made the arguement that we should do it because everyone else was doing it. But, turns out the stats when he was born was about 50% so it just seemed like a stupid thing to do for no religious reason at all. His dad is circumcised and some cousins. But, some are not.
But, as a non-Jew I just couldn't find a reason to do it. It seemed like a blind following the blind issue for non-Jewish people.
So Sioux Me
Tracee
http://bunkonhealth.blogspot.com
I'm assuming it was because the owner did not like my perspective - which was never rude or hateful.
I'm assuming this comment will get "deleted" as well.
Thanks for keeping it fair and balanced!
Maybe you didn't fill in the box of funny letters. Try again, please.
Where there can be no doubt is that biblical circumcision referred to removing dramatically less tissue than the rabbis later demanded in the Hellenic period, so if one does believe it is a commandment dating to Genesis one also has to accept that the original circumcision removed only the overhanging tip, and the procedure had to be performed by the child's father. ONLY the child's father. Nowhere in the Bible are mohels mentioned or authorized.
In sum then, it's becoming increasingly clear that circumcision was NOT a part of early Hebrew life, but is a human invention added about halfway through our history. Its practice has also been spotty throughout Jewish societies and time periods. In my family, we believe that in order to honestly connect with our Jewish roots we must honor the original, perfect design of our bodies and the practices of our ancestors by not observing a man-made rite that is at best a false link to our forefathers, and at worst an affront to our blessed creator.
Remember, Judaism grows through research, knowledge and science and we are all encouraged to question that which we sincerely believe not to be correct.
In my family, for several generations, perhaps as old as time, the word passed from parent to child is that the Torah is the word of G-d. My mother says this because her mother said so. Her mother said so, because her mother said so. Her mother said so because her mother said so. Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.Her mother said so because her mother said so.vHer mother said so because her mother said so. And up and up the family tree, they all said so. And we believe our mothers wouldn't lie.
But I respect your opinion. Different family. But it could be the same family. Except that in one of our families the transmission got interrupted.