It isn't so unusual, if you are a couples therapist, to see an addict act like an addict.
When called on it he will say,
You don't know what it is like, being an addict. Neither of you do.
That's if his spouse is sober.
Neither of you know what it is like being an addict!
This theoretically justifies the behavior that the therapist or the spouse is calling out. Saying You don't know what it's like is saying, You can't empathize (so I'm right AND you're ganging up on me!).
The addict's response can be so emotional, so angry, so full of pathos, that it is hard to not have a sympathetic reaction. After all, it is a poor me calling out, Poor Me! And nobody likes to be kicked when they're down. But for someone in recovery life really is a lot of work, it takes tremendous self-discipline and mindfulness to avoid the many behaviors that give the word addict a bad name.
Been down so long it looks like up to me is not just the title of a Richard Farina novel.
|Richard Farina' famous novel, 1966|