Mr P and Vitamin V

I wanted to move on, to talk about failure, but then I get this comment on the last post. It's about failure, but not exactly the failure I had in mind, and not being a failure, but fearing failure. You're not exactly a representative sample, not if you read me, but still. What do you think?

The comment is in response to my hard stand about taking Viagra for anxiety that's situational: a young woman expects a good sexual performance very early into a relationship, maybe even the first date. And a young man wants to rise to the occasion. PRESSURE.

Mr.P and Vitamin V said...

Doc,

1st of all, I'm a huge fan!!!

Let me represent Mr. P and Vitamin V for a moment..

I can tell you that very often by the 3rd date, if the man hasn't made some sort of sexual "move", the woman gets insecure and feels that something is wrong with her..And trust me, talking about how wonderful she is and saying that I like to take things a little slower does not work at all..

She wants something to happen!! Granted, I'm not complaining about that, but if something is going to happen, I like to insure that it actually happens..Without Viagra early in the dating process, my anxieties often take control and make things not work properly..

And oh my goodness, if it doesn't work, she either feels that she's not attractive OR she thinks something is wrong with me...It's not necessarily about her achieving an orgasm, it's more about showing her that I like her and I'm attracted to her. It doesn't have to be spectacular the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time, etc..It just has to happen...As things progress and I feel more comfortable, I don't need the V..

And your description of the healthy relationship is what I would love to achieve..I guess what I'm trying to say is that early in a relationship, words don't seem to have as much of an impact..They're not believed as much as they should be...Later on, words mean more..And one more thing, Doc!! I don't see 2 women for every man out there.

February 11, 2010 10:59 AM