The Monogamy Gene

Right.

I don't think so. The morning news team wants me to believe that there's a gene that makes some people more monogamous, perhaps more dependent, more connected, more loyal. There are people genetically predisposed to commitment and marriage, who are more in it, than others.

Maybe it's true. They say men with two copies of RS3 334 were more likely to be unmarried than men with one or none, and if they were married, they were twice as likely to have a marital crisis..

Fascinating stuff, but very hard to believe. And yet, if it's true, it could affect the way we do therapy.

I can tell you, however, that I've talked to men whose fathers literally put notches on their belts to indicate the numbers of women they have bedded, and yet, would never have considered leaving their wives, the idealized Madonnas of the family. These sons can be conflicted about their own extramarital affairs, yet they still have them.

But maybe that was their genetics talking, not what they really wanted or valued. The ironic functionality of the extramarital affairs in the above example, is that if he's happy (and why wouldn't he be, so many women, so little time), she's happy (no job of sex necessary, phew! Switch genders if you like.

The proud notches on the belt tell me fidelity is learned, no matter the genetics. Fathers give permission to sons.

Boy, but stuff like this makes it easy to question everything you know, doesn't it?

therapydoc