Abortion: On the Other Hand

Although I'm not staunchly democratic, as a social worker I generally lean to the left. So don’t think this is a Pro Life post. It’s not. 

This is only about mental health. That's what I write about, mental health and how to keep it, if that's possible. 

On the one hand, pregnancy is a pathological physiological condition, as is giving birth. Being pregnant is a risky condition for a woman, and being inside a pregnant woman for nine months can be risky to the fetus.

And there are financial and psychological burdens to parenthood, once the baby is out. Mothers undoubtedly lose opportunities afforded to childless females in the work force.

And being poor undoubtedly has potential to negatively affect both a woman’s physical and mental health, not to mention the infant's nutrition.

Then there’s the other hand.

On the other hand, let's say a young woman goes to an abortion clinic. She will be subjected to many things that will determine whether or not she has a good or bad experience aborting that baby: family support, financial resources, the way she is treated at the clinic, the pre-abortion counseling, where the father of the fetus is holding, her previous mental health history, how well she does post-op.

These are only a few of the things that can affect her immediate and future adjustment to that key decision. Again, this isn't about the decision.

A woman might be able to load the deck in her favor if she has social support, aftercare, a solid philosophical world view about abortion, as in it is a woman’s right to make decisions about her body, etc.

But her accommodation to her decision in the future is a still a question mark. It is impossible to know, at the time of the decision, how she or the father will feel about their decision years later.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I have seen dozens of women who still regret their abortion(s) many years later, who grieve that it had to happen and that it had to happen to them, in particular. And I’ve seen many men who report the same grief and remorse, tearfully. Men cry, too. This is one of the things that they cry about.

I’m not saying "Don’t do it" or "Do do it." I’m just saying that if you do, be prepared for the possibility, and I have no idea how remote, of backlash.

Depending upon what kind of person you are, grieving the loss may be considerable. It's never too late to work it out in therapy, so I'm pushing that on this post. Get therapy at any time with any professional, and get it early, and maybe often if you need it. Community mental health centers are generally free, still. Thank your sixties parents.

Having held the hands of so many (figuratively speaking, T.D. rarely ever touches her clients in any physical way) I have to wonder: What is it that they do say in the pre-abortion counseling? Will someone tell me, please?

If getting a therapist isn't possible, talk with trusted friends and family. Talk, talk, talk. Try to prepare yourself in case the other shoe drops.

There’s no way of knowing, is there?

A caveat to this piece is:

IF you’re in therapy for some other reason, perhaps years down the line, if you’ve had an abortion, don’t forget to mention it. Mention it somewhere along the line in treatment. Not every therapist will think to ask about it, seriously, although they should.

If you’re a therapist, ‘nuf said.

Is this a hot topic?

It shouldn’t be, but it is. As a source of potential post-traumatic stress, this doc thinks abortions are worth talking about, thinking about, and rethinking and rethinking. That type of cognitive exercise can't hurt.

Again, I'm just unloading about something that's bothered me for years. There's probably no easy way to have an abortion, no matter what they're telling you at the clinic. But talk it over in any case.

There. I've said it.

Copyright 2006, TherapyDoc