What War

I understand that March came in like a lion in the Midwest (USA) where I come from. I feel for my friends and relatives who are still dealing with it. I know someone who can't wait to get planting his vegetable garden. But if I asked, Are you guys cold, they would say: There is no bad weather, only bad clothing.

But  being highly cold averse this has never been my jam and I'm glad I didn't have to be there last winter, glad I didn't have to wear bulky clothes or shop for duds bragging newer, lighter, better insulating fabric. Nothing ever really warms me up, I feel like King David must have felt. Nothing like skin on skin.,

When it gets chilly here a simple down jacket is like a fur coat so I'm not complaining. They are everywhere. Israelis start wearing them when it gets down to sixty. 

What I'm trying to say is What are a few missiles compared to weather.

I used to close my eyes in Chicago, imagine the beach, try to feel the sun. It is difficult to make that happen, but imagining what milder climes might feel like is better than focusing on the cold.

Truth be known, it hasn't become hot yet but it will, and it will be very uncomfortable. We are in the  seventies, it can hit 80 (sorry, I still think in Fahrenheit. 

When I go outside I'm blinded by the sun and the color, so many flowers. The pink guys below are not flowers but leaves. Tiny white flowers are tucked inside, gifts of the Old Mighty. 

I'm hoping that posting this, doing the research, I can point to the Monet while out on a stroll and say to a friend, that's a. . . a . . . a . . . and the name will come to me. 

According to my buddy Chat:

That’s bougainvillea — a very common and beautiful flowering vine in warm climates like Israel.

#keepingsane

therapydoc

Not My Secret to Tell

 This being a therapy blog, we touch upon things that make us feel badly and look for a hack to stave that off. Why should we feel bad when we can feel good? There is so much to feel badly about. I tell people in therapy to limit the amount of media they watch. The news will destroy your soul. 

Making a social faux pas is one of the things that makes me feel terrible. I will do anything to avoid hurting someone's feelings and tell patients to please scream at me if in any way that is happening. It can happen, however, that we hurt others if we are privy to information and share it without first checking with the person who shared it with us--is this public knowledge? 

Oddly enough, without that caveat we assume we can, even should share information. If nobody says, Not for common consumption, seems like fair game. 

What do they say about the word assume? (parse it out) 

We can, but we are sure to shoot ourselves in the proverbial foot when we tell a secret, even if we didn't know it was a secret. Once the words are out we can't take them back. 

It used to be that we had to work to share information but with WhatsApp and other social networks we can share to hundreds of friends and relatives and they will share to more. With a few simple words our voices shout out, Hey! This happened. We don't do it to flex our fledgling egos, not usually, but because we think people really want to know, or should know. 

Then, the pronouncement accomplished, we get a text from the person who shared with us initially to say, TAKE THAT DOWN PLEASE.  SO AND SO DOESN'T KNOW! ie., grandchildren of someone who passed away, the parents of an injured soldier. That sort of thing. 

You get it.

Anyway, don't shoot me. I'm just the messenger.

therapydoc

Wartime and Holidays

If you live in Israel and you talk to folks from your native country, they all say, Stay safe! And I repeat it back, You stay safe! Because the world is a crazy place. 

It is March 15, the war with Iran began on Saturday, February 28. 

February is a short month so if we do the math that brings us to a 15 day war so far. 

Two weeks and a day. Feels longer. But honest, except for an occasional missile from a hostile country, you would never notice. (Why so hostile?!) Israel has a few war songs, but nobody's singing them now. Most of our songs are about the love of the land, our beautiful, bountiful land. As they sang in the movie Milk and Honey, 

We want it green and so it's green for us. 

We also worked it. By we, I mean Jews. For hundreds of years, under other peoples, it lay fallow, produced mostly rocks. Come here. You will think you are in a first world country because you are.

But back to the war.

It feels inconvenient, is all, or so it feels, not dangerous, not by war standards. I picture Vietnam and napalm, horrible mayhem, mass slaughter.  Life Magazine photos. This is not that war. 

A week ago if you talked to Israelis they might say they felt that the conflict is winding down. Maybe, but that's in the Old Mighty's hands. Or in the hands of Her representatives. We all hope it is almost over, I mean, the holidays are coming. Everyone has a holiday in the spring. I'm not listing them all, ask your buddy Chat. But for example,. 

There's the East Asian Qing Ming celebrates ancestors, sorry, no pic, it felt like adding a picture of people objectified unnecessarily.

And the Japanese Hanami about memory, renewal and nature

Cherry blossoms for Hanami

Hindu holiday Holi-colors and joy, good over evil

Passover matzah: Jews couldn't wait for the bread to rise! Matzah on the run from Egypt so it looked like this

Muslim Eid-al-Fitr

Christians celebrate rebirth, sacrifice and redemption with Palm Sunday, Good Friday, and Easter

Muslims have Ramadan,  month of reflection and charity that ends with Eid-al-Fitr 

Should be a happy time, no? 

And yet the world feels upside down to many of us. We have to b e ready for anything, and I don't just mean in Israel, all over the world. 

News flash: terrorism is not the work of the Jews. We didn't invent it, aren't into it.

Living with uncertainty, tolerating uncertainty-this is a life skill, it is something we teach in therapy. Breathe, watch happy shows, laugh at comedians on Facebook and Instagram. Do what once made you happy. It probably still will. 

therapydoc