Could be men, but let's look at women. We're talking about seeing women as sexual creatures, not people.
I just posted more on this on BlogHer in a Comment to How do I keep my kid from objectifying women?
I promised an annecdote. This story happened about ten years ago, but it could happen today.
A couple came for couples therapy, much of it about what she called his blue collar attitudes towards women. She was pregnant and had many issues, one being that he liked to go to a restaurant called Hooters.
At this restaurant the women are practically topless.
He said he likes the food. This happened to be a great guy, by the way. He didn't cheat on his wife and he worked hard, adored his spouse. He gave to charity. I loved this guy.
I said to him, "So you think it'll be a girl?"
He smiled. "Maybe."
"Would that be okay?"
"Sure. I just want a healthy baby. I can teach a girl to throw a baseball, too."
"And what if your little girl grows up and wants to work at Hooters?"
"Over my dead body."
"Why?"
"Come on, you know."
"I do."
So his wife screamed, "THOSE GIRLS, THOSE WAITRESSES ARE ALL SOMEBODY'S DAUGHTERS! ONLY THEY CAN'T AFFORD NOT TO WORK AT HOOTERS BECAUSE THEY MAKE GOOD MONEY THERE.
THEY MAKE GOOD MONEY SHOWING OFF THEIR BODIES. IT'S LIKE PROSTITUTION.
YOU'RE GOING TO SAY PROSTITUTION'S OKAY FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S DAUGHTERS BUT NOT OUR OWN? WHAT IF SHE GETS ANGRY AT US ONE DAY, RUNS AWAY, AND HAS TO WORK AT A PLACE LIKE THAT TO MAKE MONEY!!!!!
THIS IS NOT OKAY!"
He stopped going to Hooters. He got it.
Copyright Therapy Doc, 2006
The blog is a reflection of multi-disciplinary scholarship, academic degrees, and all kinds of letters after my name to make me feel big. The blog is NOT to treat or replace human to human legal, psychological or medical professional help. References to people, even to me, are entirely fictional.
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1 comment:
Thanks Linda, for your insights. And... for the anecdote. That slap-in-the-face perspective was pretty powerful for that soon-to-be-dad. ;) woot!
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