At the time I thought it was true. I thought that maybe I'd ramble on and forget to make the points I wanted to make, or that I wouldn't make them very well (I think I said as much). I wrote that there might not be any psycho-educational content in the Coming Home series.
Of course each post is psycho-educational. I might get personal at times, like I am with this series, but the blog is NOT a personal diary.
I am extremely selective about what I choose to reveal about myself and my family. If I am telling you about something personal (like F.D. and I talk in code) you can trust that there is SOME educational value in that, whether or not I spell it out for you.
I really don't like having to spell it out. It detracts dearly from the writing.
The personal anecdote IS to educate. I share about my marriage because I have been happily married for going on 33 year (Will I tell you the exact date? You'll have to wait to find out. That's why a blog like this can be fun). Every once in awhile I'd like to give a glimmer of what it's like to be in that very special club.
By the way, 33 years really isn't that long. When we hit 60, THEN we'll talk. Will I tell you about sharing a bed then? I sure hope so.
therapydoc
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3 comments:
Thanks, TherapyDoc, for this touching series. The personal anecdote can indeed be a powerful psychoeducational tool, but even more important, I think, is the substance from which the anecdote is crafted: the life of the therapist. Minimization of self-disclosure has its place as a therapeutic technique, but I don't think it is the source of clinical efficacy. Even more important is the therapist's balanced integration of "inner" and "outer," of "private" and "public," in an encounter marked by warmth and authenticity.
I do fear that some clinicians may be tempted to use the incredible power of the therapeutic relationship to promote a competence and credibility that derive primarily from the authority of the position, and not from the therapist's own hard-won quest for personal integration. This is the dark side of professional education: how much of what we learn is artful facade, and how much is a deeply conscious use of self?
The tempered self-disclosures that flow from thirty-three years of marriage are just as important as much that Freud ever wrote or practiced. I aspire to achieve that benchmark in my own marriage, and trust that I will find ways to share lessons learned with my clients.
In the end, your anecdotes point toward a much needed balance between between transference and TRANSPARENCE in our conceptualization of effective helping. I look forward to continued "sharings" from the "seedbed" of your practice.
Jonathan, that was delightful. I really, really appreciate the vote of confidence (and love how you write, by the way). Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.
Agreed, well said.
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