Heath Ledger

I hesitated to post on him. I felt so badly.
So much talent, so young.

But I kept reading negative things about Mr. Ledger on the Internet. You can't help it, you know. You're surfing around and the celebs get the most press. Even up here.

Bloggers, generally a tolerant lot, chimed in with negativity, anger. Of course we know that's a stage of grieving.

Shame on him! Wasted his life. Everything to live for. Money, women, fame.

And shame on all the people who knew, who didn't do anything. What were THEY thinking, huh?

Caught on video using drugs. They knew. People knew he had a terrible problem.

So I just have to say this. And I know it's grim, and I apologize for the grimness. But you know, my business can be a downer.

We have this expression in addictions treatment. A person has to hit bottom to want to get help. It's not always the case, indeed, one does not have to hit bottom to want to get help. We can learn from the mistakes of others. Most of us prefer our denial, however. It's easier to go with the flow.

And when things get a little out of control, or very out of control, accidents happen, people land in jail, or the hospital. Some people would call landing in jail or a hospital hitting bottom. Some people have to do that more than once, and sometimes it's not bottom.

But hitting bottom chips denial in the best and worst possible way. There's nothing like real, sincere pain to motivate people to change.

Positive reinforcement: I'll give you a thousand dollars to stop drinking/using.

That just won't cut it sometimes. A million dollars, maybe. But not if you make millions. Therapy, too, helps, for sure. But when things go badly, really badly, you start to reconsider your humanity, what you're doing with your life.

Wake up in the park, cold and wet, the rain pouring down on your face. You stop and wonder.

And when you lose your job, even misplace a paycheck, you stop and wonder.

And when your wife walks out on you, you stop and wonder.

Or disappoint your children to the point that they won't talk to you anymore, you stop and wonder.

Or get cirrhosis, cancer, hepatitis, malnutrition, HIV, or another disabling, potentially life-threatening illness, you stop and wonder.

Or kill someone while driving drunk. You stop and wonder.

Or publicly embarrass your family. You stop and wonder.

Or publicly embarrass yourself. You stop and wonder.

If you get the chance, you stop and wonder.

therapydoc