Neurotic Cleaning

Maybe I mentioned that I teach a research class on the Internet. It's very interesting. I sit in front of my webcam and present on a "white board." I can go anywhere on the web and show students interesting things at various websites. I can give them a quiz that they work on together while I listen and play solitaire.

Uh, Dr. ___?

Huh?

Would you mind explaining . . .

Just a MINUTE!

Joking, joking. But when I teach I do tend to focus on the tachlis (Hebrew, maybe Hebrish, for business) at hand. If the phone rings, I don't hear it, seriously. Some things do get my attention, however.

Last night, as we discussed the difference between a correlation design and a cross-section, a huge black fly buzzed by my ear. What would you do?

I jumped, of course. Flies upset me, and large ones make me sick. I said to my class,

OMG, there's a huge black fly in my office! Excuse me, but you're about to witness a very violent act.

I zipped downstairs to find the fly swatter, but when I returned, he was gone.

Class continued uninterrupted. I left the lights on all over the house, I told them. He won't be bothering us.

But this morning in the kitchen, as I prepared the dough for tonight's bread (mmm, fresh chalah, just the thought), there he was again, flying full speed ahead, not caring that there are two freshwater fish in a tank close by who would love a piece of him, and one large therapist who wants him dead.

He's really fast, and he flew like a bat out of hell when he saw me. FD came home and said, Let's go (it's a work day), and as I compulsively rushed to wash, dry, put away dishes, and cover the dough with a towel, I wondered about it, this unconscious behavior, putting away dishes, covering things up. Who even thinks about such things except maybe people like me? And then it came to me in a flash,

THIS is why we're so neurotic about covering food, sweeping crumbs!

It's the flies.

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