For Love: George Huguely and Yeardley Love

Can you really blame kids for getting drunk? Isn't that what they do, as college students? Make that, high school students? Athletes?

Well, no. Not every college kid drinks until he loses control, and not every high school student does this. Not every athlete. We can leave the other drugs alone for a minute, concentrate on America's favorite drug, for this is what docs learn in graduate school. Alcohol is America's favorite drug. And it's likely alcohol did drive George Huguely over the edge.

Here. Read the New York Times for yourself, Juliet Macur's got the byline:

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — On a night that was supposed to be a quiet one, with final exams just a day away, more than 1,500 students at the University of Virginia put down their books Wednesday and paid tribute to a fellow student killed this week.

An amphitheater was packed for an hour with students and administrators, some holding candles, all honoring the memory of Yeardley Love, the lacrosse player who was found dead in her apartment early Monday.

Another Virginia lacrosse player, George Huguely, has been charged with first-degree murder in connection with her death. . .

Court documents released this week, though, gave details of how that fateful night unfolded. In an affidavit filed in support of a search warrant, Huguely, a 22-year-old senior from Chevy Chase, Md., told the police that he and Love, also 22, had recently ended a romantic relationship. He said he broke into her bedroom and attacked her, shaking her as her head repeatedly hit a wall. The police said Love’s head was badly bruised.

This post is a little late on the draw, I know. But it's ironic, because I wanted to post about narcissism today, and yet this one smacks of intimate partner violence, or domestic violence, DV. Maybe George Huguely has this disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We know that some murderers do. I just finished a novel by Alan Jacobson about a serial killer on this. Don't read it if you need to get to sleep at night. Crush. Set in Napa Valley. We get a really good tour of the vineyards.

Today's theme. Crushed grapes, crushed people. Alcohol. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Intimate partner violence.

We can blame alcohol abuse for the murder of Yeardley Love, and everyone will. But while some drink to oblivion, and don't murder anyone, there are those who do. So it's likely there are other disorders at work, what is called a duo diagnosis. It's likely there's another diagnosis tucked inside George Huguely. He's had priors, meaning he's been arrested before. The Washington Post:

In November 2008, Huguely pleaded guilty to resisting arrest, public swearing and public intoxication after a drunken scuffle with a female police officer during a visit to Lexington, Va. The officer said Huguely told her, "I'll kill you. I'll kill all of y'all. I'm not going to jail," in a diatribe laced with racial, sexual and other vulgar terms. She used a Taser to subdue him.

Oy vay, a Taser.

He received a 60-day suspended sentence, emphasis on the suspended. He had six months of supervised probation, a fine, 50 hours of community service and 20 hours of substance abuse education.

Mostly punishing a bad boy. But are kids bad? Can we say an athlete is misbehaving like that, when he's abusing alcohol, when he's cursing out police officers? That kind of behavior, cursing out an officer is sheer narcissism. Most of us cower when an officer of anything just asks us our names. Well, some of us.

But if you injure some people, offend their egos, what we call narcissistic injuries, then you're likely to catch hell for it. At best, you'll be snubbed. At worst? Maybe murdered. Ms. Yeardley broke up with him. She rejected him. End of a promising young life. My condolences to her family, my prayers for her, for them.

Did she need a police escort to do that, break up with George? Some of us would say yes, maybe. Certainly the police are useful with stalkers. Bring a cop to the door of a teenage stalker and that teenager is going to think twice about bothering his prey again. Catch the kids young, when their personalities are still changing, developing, and you never know.

But order therapy, seriously, not a substance abuse program alone.

And maybe we can prevent deaths like this one.

therapydoc