The "Ask me, uh-ho-ho, ask me" Meme

Author and performance artist Amy Guth asked me the following questions for the "Ask me, uh-ho-ho, ask me" meme:

1. When you were little, what did you want to do for a living when you were grown up?

I answered this one in the Why I Relate to You and Self Disclosure post.

In 6th grade the teacher asked the class what we wanted to be when we grew up.

I said a psychiatrist.

She raised an eyebrow. Wow. That teacher just looked at me like, IS THAT EVER COOL OR WHAT?

She was probably thinking: This kid has issues.

2. What politician would you most like to be locked in a room with for one hour?

Hands down. George W. Bush. He needs so much therapy! We could work on the alcohol, the speech thing, his lack of assertiveness, the girls and their boozing. A close second would be Senator Edward Kennedy.

Both of them, seriously, HUGE sources of referrals.

3. What was your best vacation ever? Where did you go?

F.D. and I had been planning a dream "year" in Israel for many years and finally pulled it off in 1997-1998. Walked every mile possible, met many wonderful people. I get pretty misty when I think about this.

4. If you could be a man for a week, what would you want to experience?

Why, S...s...s....s....Studying, of course, studying the Holy Books, ala Yentl.
Nah, not really, not at all. If I wanted to do that I could and I would.

Being a guy hasn't got a lot of appeal, frankly. My heart goes out to the species in general. What, I would want to lift heavy objects? This is fun? No thank you.

5. What moment scared you the most?

The parenting moments scared me the most, at least one thriller per kid. I'll share two. With my youngest (now 18), we were at Home Depot and he was an infant. I had bought something really heavy and when I yanked it out of the shopping cart to put it in the trunk the little guy went kaboom on the concrete (the cart tipped with him inside). I screamed at the top of my lungs. Apparently He heard. If the kid could be any smarter, he'd be dangerous. Lost about a year of my life.

The female child had a habit of falling out of bed as a tot, eyes rolling around like she was something possessed out of the Exorcist. Thanks, sweetie, for those times.

These things turn you grey. Not that I'm grey, of course.

Well, that was painless, Amy. Theoretically, if any of you want to participate in the meme, you ask me to ask YOU questions, then you post the questions and the answers on your blog.