Classical Music and Jewish Jokes

FD read the last post (Music Lessons) and said, That wasn't about Scarlatti.

I guess he thought I'd tell you something interesting about the composer's life, like he was born in Naples in 1685, was from a large musical family (lots of sibs to fight with), wrote over 500 keyboard sonatas. A contemporary of Bach and Handel, Scarlatti went unappreciated in his lifetime, but had future admirers the likes of Chopin, Brahms, Vladimir Horowitz. And FD.

I took most of that directly out of Wikipedia.

FD has told me much racier stuff about other composers.

Below we have a more modern musical hero, Ottorino Respighi. It's looking racier already!

Nah, nothing racy to report on him, either.

But the other day I couldn't get out of the car because the Pines of Rome had me gripping the steering wheel. Life's too short, let's not rush it (one of the themes of this blog) should not be confused with sitting in your car looking like a stalker.

There's history.

As much as I couldn't wait to see my kids after work when they were little, if there was something good on the radio I forced myself to wait until it was over before facing whatever awaited inside. I needed to do that.

Some people finish their crossword puzzle.

The idea is, of course, slow it down. Nobody's doing a crossword puzzle and driving. Theoretically, classical music is good for slowing people down, especially good for Type A personalities (there's research!) and overly caffeinated people who can't relax (my guess).

Should you fall into this class of personality, you might want to buy, or take out from your locally enlightened library, Respighi's Pine's of Rome. Find a copy that's not too scratchy, preferably conducted by Arturo Toscanini.

Onto other coping strategies. Jewish jokes.

My friend Sarelle is known for them. She must read hundreds and passes them along, thinking people will read them. I generally leave them unopened until AOL starts archiving everything forever. Then I know. It's time.

Try these two. This is how some people grew up. Constantly battling
Jewish Logic
Moishe walks into a post office to send a package. The postmaster says, "This package is too heavy -- you'll need another stamp."

Moishe replies "And that will make it lighter?"
Not bad, right? Try another.

Three prisoners, about to be executed, are asked what they wish for their last meal.

The Italian responds "Pepperoni pizza," which he is served; and then he is promptly executed.

The Frenchman requests a filet mignon, which he is served; and then he is executed.

The Jew requests a plate of strawberries.


"Yes, strawberries."

"But they are out of season."

"So, nu? I'll wait."



Anonymous said…
The strawberry one is really cute, though probably it would be more believable if the Jewish guy was the lawyer advising a client.
therapydoc said…
Everybody's a comedian :)
Chana said…
Oh, you gotta, gotta, gotta do a post on Berlioz!!!

Heck, I could write a paper on Symphonie Fantastique, but it's better to listen to it with the liner notes, and add some commentary.

Did you know that Ravel had a traumatic brain injury from a taxi accident, and died five years later from surgery that was supposed to help him? He wrote "Bolero" as an exercise in orchestration, but it never changes key. Something about his injury resulted in the inability to differentiate key change, or something like that. I still can't find where I first read that, and it's been weeks...

Aaaah, those crazy orchestral composers... no, really... LOL...
therapydoc said…
Okay! That explains it, too. The key, thing. Who'd have known? Thanks.
satiricohen said…
I just saw a great one, in similar vein on Israelplug:
therapydoc said…
Satiricohen's link is great. Read the whole thing.
Jack's Shack said…
I wouldn't have known about the key thing either, but I still like Bolero.
Rob at Kintropy said…
Thanks for the jokes & the classical recommendation. Despite some classical music training (violin & piano), I am sorely lacking in my classical knowledge depth/collection. I'll definitely check out your recommend.