Sunday, April 05, 2009
The Scariest Monster of All
In today's WSJ Steve Stecklow's front page story is about a couple who unwittingly, or maybe wittingly, named their mini-golf franchise Monster Mini Golf. I don't know about you, but as soon as I heard the name I wanted to go there and putter around.
But Christina and Patrick Vitagliano are in big trouble for using the word "monster" to attract folks of all ages to their obviously delightful 18 hole glow-in-the-dark (wow) amusement parks of goblins and ghouls.
Monster Cable Products Inc. has the trademark on the word "monster". The California producer of audio cables, has sued every company over the radar for labeling products with this word, companies like Monster.com, Junk Food Monster T-shirts, and Disney's Monsters, Inc.
Now I, personally, am a little worried.
I used to tell my kids, after losing lost my temper and yelling a few decibels too high for their sensitive ears, that it wasn't really me yelling. I told them that I tend to be a pretty nice person, but that they bring out the Mommy Monster in me.
I never swore or called them names, but knowing how sensitive little kids are to sound (if they're not desensitized to it, I never wanted to scare the little tykes, set them up for anxiety disorders. It was more like, Take the shoes upstairs! NOW!
When they completely tuned me out, when their toys decorated the entire landscape such that if I stepped out of the shower and cried in pain because I stepped barefoot on a Leggo before finding my slippers, in these emotionally vulnerable moments, the Mommy Monster felt comfortable inside of me.
Not that it happened often. After my tantrum I would tell them that this wasn't me, rather it was this Mommy Monster in me that I didn't like to let out, but under extreme stress, things happen.
She came out a few times, I explained it to them rationally, and after awhile, all I had to do was warn them, maybe say, "Uh, oh,the Mommy Monster is gasping for air," and it would be, "Let's clean up!" Never laid a hand on them, never had to, never had to break a wall or a toy, although I did bag and hide many.
So now I feel the Mommy Monster really, really has to hide, not that I can even remember what she looks like.
Trademark infringement, you know.